i hate all the bastards and bitches in this world. don't we all do? the only bastards and bitches we don't hate are ourselves.
bastards who borrow $ from me and don't return it after 1.5 months.
bastards who ignore me for as long as they like because they don't treasure friendship.
bastards who think that they can do unto others what they don't want others to do to them.
bastards who flirt.
bastards who are two-faced.
bastards who give me prank calls (i don't waste my time hello-ing to an empty line anymore).
bastards who act dumb to gain your freaking attention.
bitches who bitch and throw accusations at the innocent.
bitches who are fugly and too outrageously flirty at the same time.
bitches with an unburstable ego.
bitches who are two-faced to their friends.
bitches who act high-class when they're obviously not.
bitches who are ah lians.
bitches who act innocent even though they know that u know that they like your BF.
bitches who are evil enough to purposefully step on your toes.
for god's sake. will all the bastards and bitches please hold each other's hands and stand up for ONCE and look at yourself in the mirror?
i am so irritated by some people who occupy all of the above traits. it just takes 1 single person who has all the above traits to spoil ur day.
well nvm. i have my rainbow (8-colours!!) brolly from ebase to shelter me from these people. can u believe it? the retail price tag states SGD$49.00. O_O!!!
and my peachy-pinky mango jacket with frosty-beads that adorn the ties :) woohoo.
nothing else spells "L-O-V-E-L-Y" better than these 2 items do.
bee at 3:33 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
when i was a kid.. i hated going to sch (during certain levels in primary school because of fierce teachers) and would pray a dozen times a day that i would fall sick. when i really did, i'd regret falling sick because having a fever made me feel SO BAD and hot and cold at the same time and somewhat - uncomfortable. well of course, having a fever meant that mummy would cook my favourite century egg porridge for me and that i didn't need to go to school, plus the medicine came in the form of liquid, but things r so different now.
medicine now comes in the form of a tablet, which i have so much trouble swallowing i end up refusing to eat it and i now have to stay in school no matter what (in my opinion) because i don't want to miss any quizzes etc. it is so difficult to stay awake in class while having a super runny nose, a hoarse throat, a burning head, burning nose that hurts when i breathe and burning eyes (not forgetting i have a lesson to carry out on monday). on the other hand, everything below my head was cold. hands, legs, etc. *brrR* thank God for jane who lent me her jacket!
and omigod! i was pretty much happier (though sicker) towards the end of the day (after school). doodoo bought me pineapple tarts from Han's! ooh my favourite!!! i think the last time i had pineapple tarts was like.. during Chinese New Year? he knew i was sick in the morning but he didn't know how sick i was at the end of the day. he thought i'd get better that's why he bought the pineapple tarts.. (although i didn't). but still.. that was so sweet! he told me he wanted to purchase 2 boxes initially. one to put at his place, and another to put at my place. he'd tell my mother not to tell me there are pineapple tarts at home until i reached home so it'll be a great surprise! but too bad, there was only 1 box left for sale :( so he couldn't carry out his plan.
my com crashed on me like a couple of days ago. reformatting didn't exactly help. oh what to do.. w00t to do.. =/
bee at 7:55 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
my field mentor aka centre supervisor came to talk to me yesterday. it was sorta like a private word with me ONLY, saying that while she was in the music and movement lesson that i was having with the nursery kids, she noticed i was dead quiet = no interaction with the kids at all = no animation or repeat of whatever the teacher said (for example when ms cynthia says sit down everybody! i am supposed to repeat "sit down!" or "let's do what miss cynthia says!", and when ms cynthia says "oh.. u're out" i'm supposed to go "ohhh :(( *cries* i'm out", which i obviously didn't do at all. = 1 word. BAD. She also questioned me *ONLY ME!* about my lesson plans (how do u intend to carry it out? have u thought of the logistics? which other subject are you incorporating into your lesson plan? is it maths or..?)
the part that worries me most is that i was the only one she spoke to. that's why its worrying. and without having her to tell me, i already know. cos ms cynthia said i have to interact more and play with the kids. i can't stop brooding about this. 1 hour has passed and i am still WIDE awake. NOTE: its 5:27am on the 21st of June as i write this sentence. i am so freaking upset and bothered by this whole issue i can't sleep, can't think right and can't laugh/smile. i call this a shitty situation.
stayed back yesterday until 9.15pm for klavierensemble. call it piano ensemble if you wish. there was no one to eat dinner with from 5pm-6pm so i basically just walked around aimlessly - went to the library to get some bubble tea and then 3 pieces of seaweed chicken from canteen 1 and then straight up to the music room. (i was so early. i think i reached at 5:35 or something). rotted from 5:35pm until 7.20pm or so (when cheryl finished her theory lesson) and then i got down to teaching (until 9pm). its supposed to be 2 students at a time but one learns two times faster than the other so thankfully charmaine helped me with the other one. the ppl there are pretty nice.. so i suppose its alright. i just detest the long hours. why do i have to ROT for almost 2 hours doing nothing? i know i should've started on my homework but i'm a procrastinator. to be honest, i'm so last minute my financial management hw + 4 journal entries have yet to be written. to think they have to be handed in on wednesday and friday respectively. oh no i feel so screwed. haha.
but seriously, i feel scared and discouraged after listening to what the mentor said. i wish i was with the local kids but i don't exactly miss them because there's no point in doing so. i am at where i am at now and nothing's going to change for the next year so i can only adapt and make do with whatever i have - or don't have. its seriously not easy for me to fit in with a buncha kids who don't even acknowledge my presence at first sight, although i'm glad i'm no longer invisible to them now, but having just a one-way conversation between me and the child is just so difficult. having to join in the music lesson is even more difficult because i just felt so out of place?! (as in.. join in the way she asked me to.. i am obviously playing with the kids during the music lesson - except that there's no conversation going on).
will someone please help me? field pract is not something that can be studied, unfortunately so i kinda feel that i have 0% hope and i simply wish that i will NOT fail this module. but looking at the way things are going, i can only HOPE that i won't fail - cos obviously the field mentor aka centre supervisor isn't happy. this entire happening made me think and re-think (for more than a dozen times since i joined this course) if i am on the right path. by now, everyone should be clear about where they're going and i'm pretty sure they are - they all look, feel, sound and act stable to me. so why am i the only one who's lagging behind? i really wish i wasn't.
as much as i make this blog seem like a whole piece of negative shit, i hope someone realises that i don't want it to be this way. i am just a super big complain queen who can't keep my mouth shut when it comes to airing out my not-so-happy views about everything i experience. when i don't blog - it means i am happy. a blog to me is an outlet for UNHAPPY expression & complaints. sure i'll love to share some happy thoughts along the way, (such as shopping which i have been blogging too much about until every shopping episode in this blog looks like a repeat of the previous one), but talking about nothing but shopping or going to the zoo makes me feel so shallow (i do understand it doesn't necessarily mean that i am shallow k? LOL). no doubt this blog will still be mine whether i blog shallow stuff or not, but writing in this blog is supposed to give me the feelings i want (be it making me even more upset so i can cry it all out or just calming me down) - and shallow feelings are not what i truly desire.
so back to the point, when i don't blog, it means that i am happy. its what i live by. and why so? because the simple things in life like eating the terrifically juicy lychees *when CHILLED - ooh la la!* that papa bought back for us makes me happy :) i am happy to see papa back. and i am happy when i don't have to eat lunch alone in school. see? these are trivial everyday matters and u can't expect me to blog about.. "i didn't eat lunch alone in school today so i am very happy" (yes, we should all acknowledge the fact there there are thousands of insecure teenagers out there - u noe, it doesn't hurt to eat alone in a shopping centre or anything? cos at least u don't get strange looks from people when u eat alone in Singapore?) or sth like.. "i love those ORANGEY-fleshed mangoes that mom bought for me just yesterday!". i complain abt every little thing but i don't write about the smallest, happy things that go on in my life not because they mean nothing to me, but its because happy thoughts come and go pretty fast (like how long can i admire a purchase i made? eg. skirt/top/bracelet) but anything else that's classified as unhappy goes straight into my head and i just keep brooding over it. i don't deny the fact that i am a worry-er. i sometimes tend to magnify problems - to make them look worse than what they really/actually are so that my relief & undescribable (is this how u spell it?) happiness is magnified once i jump over that hurdle.
bee at 8:54 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
for those innocent lil peepies out there, a brazillian wax = using a layer of wax to RIP off the hair down there - every bit of it, including the part in between your butt cheeks. oh! oh! oh! i almost forgot - i will have to bare it all (okay, not all) for a complete stranger (although she wouldn't find my *ahemz* a stranger since she'll probably see like at least 10 per day). now since i can't commit myself to any of this at all - PAIN PAIN AND MORE PAIN!, i've decided NOT to go for it at all - i am nowhere near ready for this. Once i start, the ever-growing pokiness of the ever-growing hair will never allow me to stop. NEVER! LOL. *thinks of classmates' leg-hair shaving habits and the after-effects of not shaving regularly*. i almost forgot to mention - who else except me myself will appreciate the hairless artpiece? no one else. so you get the idea - NO! to brazillian wax!
i haven't been blogging over the past few days cos i've been feeling really tired. somehow school makes me tired even though i do nothing but sit there and
had a glimpse of seventeen for 05 min today. got tons on my shopping list at the moment :) skirts, tops and more!!! pity one pair of espadrilles is more than enuff.. or else... *evil grinz*. every weekend seems to be about shopping nowadays, as shallow as it may sound. this time, i'm headed to JB. i want elancia!
just came home from dinner with uncle tom who's flying back tmr, and the entire tang-sisters family. tied my espadrilles too tightly at the ankles and now i've got stupid blisters. ouch like mad. *MADagascar*. the blister is SO HUGE, it hurts even when i walk without any footwear on. As long as i bend the back of my foot (just above the heel), i feel the pain.
bee at 2:23 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
firstly.. i spend too much $.. i shop too much.. i just keep buying stuff that i don't wear!!! i bought green jade earrings, a green bag, a pink tatty-bear lookalike handphone dangle accessory and a silk turquoise forever 21 top - all of which are nothing but wants. i bought the forever 21 top for the sake of getting rid of a sold-out diamante tank top in black. the new piece i took was bigger than the one i tried in the fitting room! i have no idea why either. poor quality control or some fatso wore it before me and stretched it from one end to the other! i had to top up $$ for the silk top too :( and not to mention, I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET A BRACELET AND WHITE TOPS AND A DRESS BTW! :( i obviously bought none in the end. mission unaccomplished!
and green is like my latest HOT colour or something - i just can't stop getting green things. since green appeals to me, i tend to find extremely hot pink stuff irritating now. i can't believe i've been SPECIALLY looking out for green earrings, 3 green bags, green tops. ARGH... to think i used to be the ultimate green-hater. all thanks to mel : who introduced lovely green jadey colours to me.. and many thanks to Hollister Co. by Abercrombie & Fitch who produced a beautiful green top which made me fall in love & experiment with leafy greens.
secondly, i just poured and dumped every nasty thing on jiahui today. all my problems.. i just shared them with her like there was no end. i don't only feel sorry towards her, but also towards him (i feel like a backstabber). cos everything i shared with jiahui was about him. each time i think about all the hurtful things he's done to me.. i think about all the hurtful things i've done to him.. as well as all the nice & caring things he's done for me. i realise he's hurting as much as i'm hurting.
all of a sudden, after talking everything out, it seems like i was worrying for nothing all along. suddenly everything seemed like it never happened, and that it was my imaginative thinking playing me out the whole time. i was so un-trusting & full of doubt towards him. it hurt me when i looked back and realised (again) that i never once believed anything he said.
i'm happy when i'm with him... in small little ways, he shows me there's still a part of him that cares. eg. buying me a coconut drink even though i said i didn't want it but he knows that i'll never refuse one on a sunny day. i was shocked. i never expected him to remember anything that i liked, or even take the initiative to buy it for me. surprisingly, he wants to take me to the zoo to see the giraffes too! *thinks of madagascar*.
i was amazed at how much i trusted her, but i seriously think she's such a friendly, approachable person that i couldn't help but find her trustworthy too. well anyway, i sincerely hope that she didn't find me sickening... i have no idea why i rattled on and on like nobody's business.. it was so comfortable to talk to her.
it upsets me when i REALISE things. cos whenever i do, its always the truth that hits me right smack in my face -.- *owww*... oh well. the truth is - we always get back together. NATURALLY. and. i can't stop shopping for wants (NOT NEEDS!) even though the stuff i buy are NOT on sale at all & seriously, they're things that i don't even use =/. *looks at the hole in her pocket*
and the one last truth that hurts the most - i have to wake up at 5:30am tomorrow morning to prevent frogginess - a coarse, hoarse voice that croaks. the longer i sleep, the longer it takes for my voice to warm up = a hard time talking to the kids cos i'll end up whispering again.
bee at 1:59 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
a part of this entire superficiality thing is acting high-class. i despise these people more than they ever looked down on what they deem low-class folks like neighbourhood ah lians and heartlanders (just because they stay in a HDB). an actual look of these people actually shows that they ain't much higher on the ladder than those people they complain about. true, they may not stay in neighbourhoods like toa payoh, bedok, clementi.. but hey. just look at their housing. their parents probably got it at only 100k many years back and they're just sitting on it to wait for en-block so they'll be paid like 2m or 3m! and one thing i noticed - living in a HDB does NOT necessarily mean that u're poor or anything like that because people who live in HDBs can afford branded stuff too! pre-sale and when i say branded, i mean BURBERRY and Louis Vuitton & Christian Dior, not stuff like fcuk, guess, mango, stussy, roxy, billabong, mambo.
Acting high-class is just a nicer word for "High-class Wannabe". Honestly, its different from tai-tai wannabes.. cos who doesn't wanna be a tai-tai? And tai-tais don't have to be high-class right from the time they were born.. tai-tainess can be GROOMED. For example, u don't have to be a rich, spoilt princess to become a future-taitai. What about plain janes with super duper NICE characters who get picked up by rich prince because of their character (eg. they're not people who spend all your $ on shopping/yum cha-ing/mahjonging in a day)? The whole point about being a taitai is to ENJOY LIFE in terms of material needs and u don't have to be a rich, spoilt princess to be able to UPGRADE to that taitai status when you get married. So what's the whole point of acting high-class? I suppose those high-class-wannabes are just praying & hoping with all their might that some guy might fall in love with their superficiality. Notice - some taitais are not even pretty? But its ok - with money, u can groom those fugly taitais :) that's why they all become prettiER. Think Botox.
another thing to mention is the perfect lives that these people lead. i choose to believe that it is all a facade and Jiahui agrees with me on this entire facade issue. In fact, i got my idea from her! *u can call that influence + thought on my side* She said that there's no such thing as a Perfect Life. If there was such a thing as a Perfect Life, that person's life should also be known as an Empty one. Why? cos every single day that person walks around being aimless. Ultimately, do u live just to bitch about others? do u live just to be a taitai? if we live our lives so perfectly, we wouldn't know how exactly to cope with downfalls. Without sadness/anger, we wouldn't know what happiness is. Jiahui says these people are big fat liars because they portray their lives in such a perfect way - some of it is even just said. We all know acting on it and saying are 2 different things, yeah? For God's sake, when will these people actually OPEN their eyes to see that the REAL world is NOT perfect?
Is life truly about bitches and bitchees?
the last thing that i'd like to add.. is sth that happens daily, especially among girls. it not just as simple as gossiping, but its BITCHING. bitching = throwing false accusations at someone just because u dislike her. an ex-classmate of mine (sorry i can't name her) once said, "bitching is a part of every girl's daily life.. we can't stop it". People are just blind & deaf to the hurtful effects of bitching on the bitchee. Alright, i agree its more than fine to bitch (that's if u're talking about a person's negative/funny/weird behaviour/actions that u have personally seen or heard from someone else) - but i can't stand 3 things (which includes throwing false accusations). Firstly, bitching about your best/good friend. Secondly, Judging a book from its cover (bitching about a person u don't even know). Lastly, bitching about the poor bitchee's character and actions when the
i must thank all the plastics out there for being part of the inspiration needed for this post. =) cheers! well actually.. i kinda think they wouldn't even KNOW that they're superficial, so nvm. Charlene was right..
*please note that no part of this post refers to anyone in particular unless otherwise stated. the author wrote this in terms of superficiality as a whole.
bee at 2:09 AM
(0) hushy lil babies!
let's see what i wanna buy:
1. a smocked dress with ruffles & ribbon ties from forever 21 but i think its no longer available for sale :(
2. a bracelet. (i'm trying to decide between ASOS.com and tiffany & co.?)
3. white topSSS.
4. SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! btw i checked out VNC and Charles & Keith and Tracce/Everbest today. ESPADRILLES have FINALLY touched Singapore! But those are more like wedges cos i haven't seen any with ribbon ties like the tommy girl one i have! :D *evil grin*
:D busy day today.. went down to Meena's school for children to improve in their maths, art & other subjects with the use of mind-mapping and drawing - what they call the right brain technique (literally exercising the right side of your brain). after which, i went for my FAVOURITE claypot rice with mummy! it was SO good. apart from the fact that i waited in that HOT sweaty place for 45mins + 30mins for the food to arrive :) Saturday is definitely shopping day. meeting cel tmr for shoe-shopping and eyelash extensions (for her.. cos i'm allergic to their glue - it burns my eyes).
Jiahui and i have a keen interest in this tatty-teddy bear lookalike handphone dangle. SGD$3.90 - is that expensive for a small dangle or what? but it looks SO adorable (like a toddler, short hands, short legs, + tummy!) and there's a patch on the head and stitches at the leg for that ultimate "will you take me home?" look. anyway, i love jiahui! she is so easy to talk to! :) Hope to get it with her on Sunday cos she's not free tmr :(!
Sadly, i have not found anything else to do except more shopping on Sunday.
It seems the more stressed I am with my school work, the stronger is my need to shop.
And.. The main reason of my constant outbreak of pimples is.. stress. haha. stress from worrying too much. i am forever in paranoia. For example, during the last exam, a HORRIBLE outbreak outbroke just like the previous exams in Year 1 Sem 1. WHY oh WHY... cos i didn't study even though my exam was like less than a week away. so i started to worry a hell lot - day and night non-stop. although i knew i haven't studied and that i'm worrying a lot, i still refuse to study. why? cos its not the last minute =/ so i continued to worry. vicious cycle eh?
*Exhilarated* - Cartier Love Screwmark Ring with Crystals strike off! Boo to school btw.
bee at 2:24 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
it was a rotten day yesterday, my first day at The Preparatory Place with becca who has experience in working in a childcare! oh god. and her voice is darned good - with projection of course. she's already started scolding the kids. that's way ahead of where i am at now - i don't even DARE to scold the kids because they wouldn't give a damn about anything i said - because they don't trust me yet. AND i've got a huge problem with my voice - its nowhere near strong, especially in the morning. Becca thought i had a sore throat because i was croaking away like a frog. It takes me 2-3 hours at least to open up my voice so i whisper all the time to the kids. Its even more difficult for me to open up my voice because i'm only able to do so when i feel at ease with the children. Currently, everything is so unnatural - including the fact that i have to speak with a fake slang. EVERYONE who's involved with the PP, whether local or not, speak with a slang. an Ang Moh slang.
they're a difficult lot - i don't know why. i find it weird too. usually, kids would come up to me and hug me and say hi EXCITEDLY even though they don't know me. they're curious - they want to know who i am, where i come from and what i'm doing at their centre. They wanted to know MY PURPOSE.
However, things are different at the PP. 90% of the kids are Ang Moh, and the remaining 10% who are locals speak in the same slang as the Ang Mohs. The worst part is, they treat me like i'm invisible. It feels horrible. I've never been ignored by any kid before. Without communication, I can't build my bridge. And like what my lecturer for Field Practicum 2.1 said to all of us, "Time is NOT on your side". I hardly have enough time to get to know them, and what's more for them to trust me. I just feel a huge distance between me and them and I ain't liking it obviously. My entire mood was spoiled rotten just because of this.
Unlike Rebecca's class of K1s who came up to me and hugged me even though they hardly knew who i was, my Nursery class didn't seem to care about my presence - even if i tried to talk to them. The best part was, they had developed terrific language abilities. They could communicate perfectly in English!!!! But not with me!!! I was close to tears... i so wanted to shout "TALK TO ME!".
The teacher of the nursery class actually "warned" me before i started to try to interact with them that they're different from the local kids (who are much friendlier). It was SO true.
Also, we've got several journal entries to write. I haven't started on any, and i've got to finish TWO by this Thursday night. BY HOOK OR BY CROOK. One of which is about Routine Care, which involves bathing and dressing children. Although the PP is a childcare kind of centre, they actually function as a kindergarden. only 2 out of 8 of the children present yesterday in my class stayed back for afternoon activities. Thus, the rest who were dismissed at 12:30 never needed to take a bath at all. Thus, i hope u realise my problem now - what in the world am i going to write about if i did not participate or observe any form of routine care as mentioned above?
Basically, I spent the entire 3.5hours of yesterday at the centre reading 4 storybooks to the kids, one of which I had to do without much of a choice because the teacher of the class, Ms Cynthia, threw a book at me. The kids were in anticipation - all of them were waiting for the story. The rest of the little time that passed so quickly and unexpectedly was spent observing their Music & Movement Lesson. It was enlightening to note that the whole lesson was conducted with the help of a CD! I also helped to take the kids to the toilet to wash their hands after painting.
I was amazed to note that HEY! the girls did not have a child-sized toilet bowl in the ladies!! I was told by a lecturer in year one that it is a requirement for all childcare centres to have child-sized stuff (which includes toilet bowls, cutlery, etc). I was shocked.. the poor things had to prop themselves up onto the toilet bowl - of which they did not bother (or should i say, Seem to Know) that the seat cover is supposed to be pulled down before they do their business? Chloe, an easy child to work with, was so sweet though. She helped Maddy to flush the toilet when Maddy was done. LOL. on the other hand, the boys were lucky enough to have a child-sized toilet bowl to aid them in peeing!! Imagine what it'd be like if the toilet bowl was too high for them.
I'm upset and disappointed at everything that happened at the PP. The environment's cool, friendly and air-conditioned and all, but i am SO affected by the way in which the kids treated me. I felt like a total booboo. 2 more weeks and i'll have to start teaching them or something - i seriously have NO time. Worst of all, Ms Cynthia won't be in class next week, so there won't be anyone to introduce me to the kids who were away from school yesterday.
I shall blog again when i feel happier. Hopefully that'll be soon.
Oh yes - did anyone check out that dress that xiaxue.blogspot.com wore to the Anna Sui make up event thingy? Its a green smocked tube dress if not for the ribbon ties over the shoulders with ruffles at the bottom of the dress and a ruffle-trim at the smocked area. For the first time in my life i actually LOVE somthing that she wore - and i can't find it anywhere. :(
bee at 9:19 AM
(0) hushy lil babies!
went for steamboat with the ex-exile gang from SG.. buncha guys with only 3 girls (including me). didn't make friends with the other 2 (duh!) because they were so closely knit and i was NOT sitting at their table.
Havoc: "hey must smile more k? I bought u kickapoo - joy juice leh"
Unknown: "why you look so sian today?"
EP: "why are u so quiet?"
guys in my opinion are heartless, cruel creatures (you should be glad i didn't use the word "animals!"). Plus, they are NOT smart enough to sense or even understand a female's thoughts. Please look back at the "Women are smarter than men because although God made men first, there is always the draft before the masterpiece" theory. Thus, i can only conclude that those 3 guys above made their assumptions of me based on only one thing - MY FACIAL EXPRESSION. See? They're not so smart and amazing after all. I am disappointed with this discovery btw :(
Yes, as u can tell, I am a sexist and i fully agree with that. But thankfully, I have not reached the "GIRLS ROCK MY WORLD!" stage.
And there was sth i couldn't take lying down.. but i did anyway. At the steamboat place @ Marina bay, A woman smacked her w0w0's butt and said "SIT!". She smacked it so hard there was that "PIAK!" sound. It made me so mad. You DO NOT treat an innocent and cutiepie dog in a manner that is WORSE than the way in which you treat a heartless man! What did she get after smacking the dog's bootie? The immediate effect was the action of sitting on the toilet bowl, but he stood up 2 seconds later. -.- besides, The dog's breed was my favourite! It was a miniature schnauzer! Ooh! nicknamed "Ah Peh Dog" by me :) 'nuff of that, Will someone please shout "CRUELTY"?
BTW, has anyone seen the fat on my legs bounce away? their favourite hobby is not bouncing as i walk.. its actually giggling. oops. i meant jiggling.
ok that's not funny.. how abt something else.
tadaa! surprise surprise!
dang. i hope you weren't expecting that.
"I was just trying to help" the guy in the pic above to place an advertisement for himself. Free nose and pirate-like cap included! *u can get an authentic bandana with the eye-cap if you want*. Picture courtesy of "Aheda. Typo of ahead.
In case you were trying to figure out what that pic was.. its a cross-breed between a chihuahua and a jack russell. ok i'm kidding. this is the new age pirate + clown mix. cool, huh?
I am a meanie and i love being one.
*disclaimer*: Meanie = Meanie and MEANIE ALONE. Meanies have a conscience and they DO NOT backstab. Bitch = being superficial, fakey, slutty, cunning, willingly cheap, backstabby PLUS all other negative character-description combinations. For the best example, we should all look at THAT GIRL who is SO ON ABOUT "i am a chao ah lian who loves money and bitching AND snatching ppl's boyfriends! they are my interests!".
FYI, i hate her from the bottom of my heart because she annulled her friendship with him on the SURFACE but continues to love him from the bottom of her heart and SHOWS it all without shame! I am not a 3-day old infant btw (although i admit i truly am acting like one now - mind you i am young @ heart!). Sly biatch. A girl who calls a guy @ 1.30am in the morning & acts like his GF while knowing that he already has a gf obviously does not respect her own bf and the guy's gf AT ALL.
What sorta girl are you deep inside without all that THICK make up on the outside? It is so thick it clouds everyone's vision of the real you. Its no wonder men fall into your booby trap. and for god's sake. stop pushing the poor bloke back to me just because u're done with the toy.
bee at 2:20 AM
(0) hushy lil babies!
As usual, he's still talking to her... saving her HP no. in secret and ignoring my SMSes.. men can't be trusted - i think i'm gonna have to be a lesbo soon. eww.
i hurt my toe on Wednesday. yikes. we got our childcare posting results, and i'm in The Preparatory Place with Rebecca. Kinda cool i suppose, sounds like a private-owned thingy.. we're guessing its somewhere deep in Stevens Road (near RGS). Since Rebecca was so happy about it, she jumped up and down several times in excitement and her slipper flipped my toenail up so it cracked into half and fell off. Which means, my nail was ripped/torn off. Hurt like mad i was gonna cry. Thank God its much better now.
Been doing nth but shopping lately. Very soon, everyone will see that the only things that will be lacking from my wishlist are the Hollister/GAP bags (unless i add more stuff in). =/ Not so much of clothes for school anyway, more of clothes for going out - whatever for man.
i kinda feel that a blog robs me of what i wanna say in emails to my friends. i get that "they would already have read my blog and i'll be repeating everything in my emails" kinda thing. oh well :(
i find myself starting to appreciate ECH more and more.. yes, i still find it VERY boring (there's no improvement in that area), but i discover more stuff abt myself especially + the people arnd me. i still don't like the idea of having to teach a full class, but somehow i have a feeling that i'll learn to like it by the time i graduate. sometimes i'm not exactly convinced that i'm on the right path.
BTW i am not liking financial management this sem. it includes accounting and it drives me up the wall. i am so slow in that subject. nth's wrong with the lecturer or course content. its just ME. i am slow when it comes to calculation and mathematical stuff. i am NOT, in any way, Mathy!!! Same goes for our maths modules, my brain is on the verge of cracking when we have to think of math-games for children using certain given materials, or worse - create games by yourself. BOO! there is no art to help me this time round :(
looking forward to seeing cousin mich on sunday :) yippee! its been years... i wanna see how much fatter she's grown *evil grin*.
bee at 2:16 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
i just wanna thank you right down from the bottom of my heart.
to the folks like shin, mel, fattysam, thom, etc.
thanks for everything - your support, your care & concern, your TLC.
and to shereen, jane & cheryl!!! :D thanks for hearing me out every single day.
emails and short tag-notes may not convey everything you wanna say, and your feelings, but the fact that u guys have taken the time to drop a lil something off to me really touches me - that there's someone out there who has given the things i said on my blog a thought, msn chats, and a poem and an email etc.
it makes me realise one does not need 2000 hits a day on ur blog, or 3000 fans who donate $ to you so u can buy a new digital camera like xiaxue. what matters more to me is that the friends that i personally KNOW of love me.
it is just trly unfortunate on my part to have someone that i wanna be with who doesn't love me. i will wait for my storm to blow over so i can be with the warm sunshine and pretty rainbows again.
if i had a choice, i wouldn't have posted such depressing stuff for all to see. but things in RL have affected me so much - i can't bring myself to fake-ly write something else that i cannot relate to at this point in time.
to all who are still wondering, him and bee are now over. there is no point in clinging on desperately to just one strand of hope when u simply know things will never work out. the blatant truth is that he loves her too deeply to let go, and it is the same on her side.
thus, bee is searching for a sweet, handsome flower now.
anyhow, i feel loved :)
bee at 1:17 PM
(0) hushy lil babies!
* virgo
* student
* loves: ladybugs, beefyboys, cherries, bossanova, olivia ong, domomomo, shopping
* bleahs @ clowns, crEEpiEcrawlies, the dark, liars
bLurRy mEe
soft rebonding&a new haircut
new school bag
Sony Ericsson K700i
PeaCock Feather Earrings
Tommy Girl Espadrilles
Cartier Screwmark Love Ring with Crystals
Abercrombie Sierra Floral Mini
- FATTY WOOLIE SHEEPIE
Smocked Dress
Cherry Earrings
Dumby-Dumbo :)
Candy-Pink Corsage
Pink Rose Earrings
BirkenstockGizeh Sandals
Singtel WorldTour TarePandas
65cm tall Domo-Kun Plushie
HURS Suitcase
Heart Sunglasses
- Gucci Envy Me 30ml
- Vera Wang Princess
- La Senza Kitty Babydoll
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