Wednesday, June 08, 2005

=(

i can't believe this.. i don't even have the time to blog. and now that i do, i'm actually on my way to preparing my 3 lesson plans for ART (and i haven't even gotten to know the kids well enough yet). I have to hand in these 3 lesson plans by Friday! SHUCKS. And i'm the last person on this Earth to discover that.

it was a rotten day yesterday, my first day at The Preparatory Place with becca who has experience in working in a childcare! oh god. and her voice is darned good - with projection of course. she's already started scolding the kids. that's way ahead of where i am at now - i don't even DARE to scold the kids because they wouldn't give a damn about anything i said - because they don't trust me yet. AND i've got a huge problem with my voice - its nowhere near strong, especially in the morning. Becca thought i had a sore throat because i was croaking away like a frog. It takes me 2-3 hours at least to open up my voice so i whisper all the time to the kids. Its even more difficult for me to open up my voice because i'm only able to do so when i feel at ease with the children. Currently, everything is so unnatural - including the fact that i have to speak with a fake slang. EVERYONE who's involved with the PP, whether local or not, speak with a slang. an Ang Moh slang.

they're a difficult lot - i don't know why. i find it weird too. usually, kids would come up to me and hug me and say hi EXCITEDLY even though they don't know me. they're curious - they want to know who i am, where i come from and what i'm doing at their centre. They wanted to know MY PURPOSE.

However, things are different at the PP. 90% of the kids are Ang Moh, and the remaining 10% who are locals speak in the same slang as the Ang Mohs. The worst part is, they treat me like i'm invisible. It feels horrible. I've never been ignored by any kid before. Without communication, I can't build my bridge. And like what my lecturer for Field Practicum 2.1 said to all of us, "Time is NOT on your side". I hardly have enough time to get to know them, and what's more for them to trust me. I just feel a huge distance between me and them and I ain't liking it obviously. My entire mood was spoiled rotten just because of this.

Unlike Rebecca's class of K1s who came up to me and hugged me even though they hardly knew who i was, my Nursery class didn't seem to care about my presence - even if i tried to talk to them. The best part was, they had developed terrific language abilities. They could communicate perfectly in English!!!! But not with me!!! I was close to tears... i so wanted to shout "TALK TO ME!".

The teacher of the nursery class actually "warned" me before i started to try to interact with them that they're different from the local kids (who are much friendlier). It was SO true.

Also, we've got several journal entries to write. I haven't started on any, and i've got to finish TWO by this Thursday night. BY HOOK OR BY CROOK. One of which is about Routine Care, which involves bathing and dressing children. Although the PP is a childcare kind of centre, they actually function as a kindergarden. only 2 out of 8 of the children present yesterday in my class stayed back for afternoon activities. Thus, the rest who were dismissed at 12:30 never needed to take a bath at all. Thus, i hope u realise my problem now - what in the world am i going to write about if i did not participate or observe any form of routine care as mentioned above?

Basically, I spent the entire 3.5hours of yesterday at the centre reading 4 storybooks to the kids, one of which I had to do without much of a choice because the teacher of the class, Ms Cynthia, threw a book at me. The kids were in anticipation - all of them were waiting for the story. The rest of the little time that passed so quickly and unexpectedly was spent observing their Music & Movement Lesson. It was enlightening to note that the whole lesson was conducted with the help of a CD! I also helped to take the kids to the toilet to wash their hands after painting.

I was amazed to note that HEY! the girls did not have a child-sized toilet bowl in the ladies!! I was told by a lecturer in year one that it is a requirement for all childcare centres to have child-sized stuff (which includes toilet bowls, cutlery, etc). I was shocked.. the poor things had to prop themselves up onto the toilet bowl - of which they did not bother (or should i say, Seem to Know) that the seat cover is supposed to be pulled down before they do their business? Chloe, an easy child to work with, was so sweet though. She helped Maddy to flush the toilet when Maddy was done. LOL. on the other hand, the boys were lucky enough to have a child-sized toilet bowl to aid them in peeing!! Imagine what it'd be like if the toilet bowl was too high for them.

I'm upset and disappointed at everything that happened at the PP. The environment's cool, friendly and air-conditioned and all, but i am SO affected by the way in which the kids treated me. I felt like a total booboo. 2 more weeks and i'll have to start teaching them or something - i seriously have NO time. Worst of all, Ms Cynthia won't be in class next week, so there won't be anyone to introduce me to the kids who were away from school yesterday.

I shall blog again when i feel happier. Hopefully that'll be soon.

Oh yes - did anyone check out that dress that xiaxue.blogspot.com wore to the Anna Sui make up event thingy? Its a green smocked tube dress if not for the ribbon ties over the shoulders with ruffles at the bottom of the dress and a ruffle-trim at the smocked area. For the first time in my life i actually LOVE somthing that she wore - and i can't find it anywhere. :(
bee at 9:19 AM