Tuesday, April 24, 2007

some clothes are too lovely to wear

i've got quite a couple of mini dresses (some would call them tunics) and lingerie sets (especially those authentically Japanese ones) that i can't bear to wear. to the extent that i want to hang up 'em in my wardrobe and stand there to admire them everytime i open it.

i'm not sure if i should refer to it as an old habit.. but i always consider getting 2 pieces of the same item if i really love it loads so that i can bear to wear it (knowing there'll be a spare aka back-up piece waiting in the wardrobe). thing is, i don't usually get to wear the kept piece because i end up getting sick of the first before it gets worn out.

perhaps sometimes i do buy stuff for the sake of wanting to own 'em. because they're either super pretty, or super worthwhile to keep because they just look too good to be true (too cute to be true haha). a conscious effort to remind myself not to purchase something i can't picture myself wearing out isn't always one that comes naturally and consistently. (yes - some stuff only look good in pictures or photoshoots, while some stuff can only be worn to certain places).

i'm turning 20. and i still have an addiction to cute things, in addition to my addiction to shopping (or is it online-shopping? doesn't make a diff really, cos if i don't shop online, i look for stuff in the real shoppes).

while i take joy in shopping and indulging in more shopping, i actually have sleepless nights - worrying about which freaking course to take. i've turned down MOE's SNO offer, and now i'm thinking a 4-year course at NTU is going to be like going through a more studious version of my secondary school life. yuck =/ my mom used to be so enthusiastic about the trip to boston (with the wheelock college programme (saying she'll go with me for the entire month and all but now that she realises i'll be going with the rest of the cohort, she says she prefers NUS). but i don't know how long more NUS'll take to revert back to me and from what i heard, they've already decided who to take in. i hate dilemmas like these. at times like these, i feel that the lesser choices i have, the easier life'll be. honestly, its special needs ftw (For the win!) and i don't want to ever graduate from any degree and then find myself having to be a childcare teacher.

i've been asking myself as well.. why do i seem to be the only person who's thinking about what's gonna happen 2 years down the road? i don't know anyone who applied and didn't get into wheelock college, neither do i know anyone who got in and rejected it. everyone seems to be taking things so easily.. everyone seems to not mind being a childcare teacher in 2 years' time. why?

bee at 7:55 PM

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

i never know if i'm ever going to regret this.

where else can i go to get a degree within 2 years? (with holidays i believe? and a summer immersion programme).

but its too risky to take it up~ =/ and its equally risky not to. i'm afraid i won't be able to withdraw if my chance comes, and yet at the same time i'm so afraid the chance won't.

i'll just have to wait, hope and watch to see what happens.

meanwhile, i guess i'll still stuff myself with sinful, indulgent shopping - i bought 6 pairs of jelly shoes in different colours...

hmm. i sometimes i ask myself what exactly is moving on to me? (apart from being stuck with shopping). sometimes i want to move on to something different, cos i believe some changes can actually be rather refreshing in some sense or other. but at other times, i wonder if what i'm letting go of would come back to haunt me later. once again, i find that i have to brace myself for whatever is or is not going to happen..

bee at 6:45 PM

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Monday, April 16, 2007

bambi dress

i'm overjoyed.

finally got the bambi couture nightie dress i always wanted :) in PINK!~!~!~

pink lace. pink bambi prints. pink bambi couture prints. i'm so full of love for all of it!

so bimbo.

haha :) i'm thinking of ordering another piece in green.. but i'm afraid it won't be as flattering as the pink in terms of the colour =/ well.. the green one's the one that paris hilton and lindsay lohan wore.. in case anyone was wondering. maybe i should just stop my nonsense with the ordering the same piece in every colour thing. hmm. crap -.-

bee at 11:00 PM

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

please forgive me & myself.

Dear God,
i have sinned in thought, and word, and DEED.

because i spent a bomb on japanese bra sets again. and this time, its more than ever @ $120 for 2 sets. apparently this spending does not, in any way, match the look of innoncence of the lingerie.

now i can only wish, hope and pray that i will be assured of the fact that indulgence is proof of love for oneself, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Amen.

P.S: of all things, i made doodoo angry yesterday and i'm feeling so sorry about it. maybe i should donate domokun to him as a lifelong asset to cheer him up. o.o

bee at 6:48 PM

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Friday, April 06, 2007

woohoohoohoo!~

ever since i got my pay.. i've been spending like crazy. but before i even got it, i was already spending like crazy cos i kept telling myself that more $$'s coming. haha!

purchased a couple of F21 stuff (incl a dress that mischa barton wore for a keds commercial).. joined tons of sprees.. almost too many to keep track off. but i love the feeling of it. anticipating the arrival of new stuff that will be delivered directly to my doorstep! YAY! and i'm so thrilled with a necklace i purchased recently - a miniature black/silver old-school camera that lights up (that's supposed to be the flash) with a push of the button! how cool! now i can go tikam-tikaming with it :)

the madness is called indulgence actually. i can buy a particular top in all its available colours. the same thing goes for vests.. and dresses. and its tempting for me to do so with even more dresses =/ especially when the fit is good. actually, that's what i'm doing with doodoo's tops too. oh dearie me! i have to keep reminding myself that i need to be contented with what i already have.. and that over-indulgence should be thrown out of the window! :X

my addiction to domo hasn't stopped either.. its always comforting to hug it and toss it up and down after a full week of work. the dressing up of domokun continues as well.. :X hmm, did i just hear it say "somebody help me!!"? some pics for ya'll to see the lovely domokun once again. i wanna go to Japan during the June hols (yes! no work most of the time!) so i can grab some supportive and flattering Japanese bras PLUS more Domokun goodies like bedsheets, bags, handphone dangles, plushies.. and everything else that they have at the NHK store!!! :D muahahahahaha~


there's good news too~ i was offered the position of a special needs officer by MOE which i already rejected due to several reasons and a place in Ngee Ann's early childhood degree programme by Wheelock College. also, things from NTU sound good as well (based on what i was told at the end of the interview for the BA in English). its just that 4 years is way too long for me in my opinion (inclusive of direct honours which i view as useless unless i work for the government and at the same time, secure first-class honours). what if nobody employs me due to the lack of working experience after i graduate? :( and i might just turn into an English Geek Goddess yea? haha. not pretty greek goddess at all! i'm waiting to hear from NUS, and i don't know if i should apply for SMU (i love its location, seriously.)

bee at 8:34 PM

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