Saturday, August 27, 2005

i am so relieved that Field Practicum 2.1 is FINALLY over. ten gruelling weeks of having to meet children who ignore my presence (i don't even get minimal eye contact at all), adjust to new surroundings.. (sometimes new places make me lost as i've got a bad sense of direciton), as well as new routines and all. initially, that was what happened, and now, i'm just glad that i'm one step closer to my holiday. i just can't wait for it to be here.

when i reflect and think about what i've been through for the whole ten weeks of FP, i have lots to thank the children for. firstly, i learnt to be unafraid of spiders and less afraid of earthworms from them.. and then i learnt that i've really got to open up more.. and i'll seriously never forget this whole experience. at the end of 10 sessions, i'm just SO GLAD, really really GLAD that i'm no longer some alienic stranger to the kids. it was so endearing to have received a hug each from georgina (on her last day =( of school) and chloe.

as we all know, i'm such a last min person when it comes to assignments. i hope my friends don't kick me outta their group because of this.. but honestly, i need that PUSH and that SENSE OF URGENCY. and of course, i need my sleep. but i tend to sacrifice it to complete the project the night before. somehow this just goes on. but at least, i'm not the person who likes to do half of something and leave it there till i start to work on the 2nd half of things much later. sometimes it can be difficult to catch back on to what u were thinking about at first, so the only time u'd ever see me doing that is when i'm completely clueless and i just need to skip so as not to waste time.

when it comes to progressive things aka assignments that cannot be completed in one day, i really must thank my friends though. its a good thing that they make me sit down with them and do stuff. but sometimes, i just switch off. having only a miserable amount of 4 hours of sleep leaves my mind blank when i wake up. i do know that i'm not the only one who's tired.. but am i the only one who's complaining aloud? perhaps.

then again, whenever a door closes, a new one opens. it seems that all assignments work this way - all the way to the end of the semester, and so do tests. would anyone believe me if i said i really don't knoow how to do my FM? i find that for Financial Management i have to commit lots of stuff to memory - and that is very difficult for me. maybe i'm just too extreme.. i can be a "spur of the moment" person i think. but honestly, i don't understand which ones are operating flows, and financing flows and investing flows so i have to memorise that if possible. i don't know which ones are long term liabilities. and i can't remember if it is a source/use when assets/liabilities increase! i feel like i'm babbling. but i really can't help it!

a very tired and sleepy bee with eyeballs that are crying out in pain now wrote this. God Bless Me!

i am so mad with myself btw. on the night of my birthday, - yes the very day itself -, i was told i needed the original score for my exam - which somehow or rather i forgot that i had it so i thought i had misplaced it. doodoo and i went round many musical shops, calling 100 (60 cents per call + 20 cents for them to connect it for you) several times, and running here and there. it was terrible. i finally found one last copy at kino, and was overjoyed. i felt the book looked rather familiar, and i felt that i had it already, but i just brushed it off and told myself that the one i have is of another grade. it was 9pm by the time i had dinner @ swensons, and i drooled over the ice-cream mooncakes in a square shape. they're all chocolate coated and come in a box with 4 flavours $30 (*hmph* i don't get to choose) - wasabi, strawberry+chocolatate+vanilla, green tea and my favourite: MANGO ICE-CREAM WITH PEACH CUBES/PIECES!

anyway, i found the book in a drawer later on at night when i happened to be looking for construction paper! and i couldn't believe my eyes. the book was in excellent condition - better than the one i bought at kino, but i didnt check to see if the pages have yellowed. oh :( i was tricked by my own memory. but at least, buying it served as a "just-in-case" kinda thing as i completely forgot where i had placed this book (can u imagine? this nut over here actually thought that i never had it in the first place?).

this seems to be another narration of what happened in my life. = boring entry again.. i need to perk myself up or something. maybe i'll go splash some icy cold water all over myself later. btw i've been having this SUPER-persistent headache lately. it started off as an ache, with the back part of my head feeling most of the pain, n my temples. however, nowadays when i move - walk or bump around in the bus, the pain becomes sth else - what i call a "seizure". i just feel like there's a clamp inside my head, at the back of the inside of my head, that just bites down on my brain or something (or simply the inside of the back of my head). >_< SAVE ME.
bee at 10:42 AM

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Friday, August 26, 2005

^-^

has anyone noticed that my feet are drooling for a pair of English Garden Birkenstocks? :)

i can't help but love the pink buckle.

they're currently out of stock at both the Tanglin Mall branch and the Wheelock one. :(

Anyway, thanks to all who made this birthday a fab one and to those who remembered it :). To doodoo for his company @ swensons.. i loved our meal together :) shereen, cheryl from ke, cheryl from a01 and jane, ailay, rebecca (whom i heard willingly contributed to my pressie ^-^), joy and wan for the rebonding voucher. and to all my classmates for singing me a birthday song the moment the lesson ended - which caught me by surprise and i turned tomato red. =o^-^o=

it may not seem like a glam place to do one's hair @ haru scene - but honestly i assure you - the guy "Kenji" is an award-winning hairstylist - besides, being a branch of The Scene @ Wisma, i bet it isn't that bad. plus, its kinda expensive as compared to those $78 ones that u find at bugis. and i've seen with my own eyes his wonderous work on someone - of all people, why did it have to be someone who loves to brag? aka tantan! i just hope it works on my hair too - the effect of having moisturized hair even after rebonding!! actually, i'm just praying mine won't turn out flat. =)

and of course - i wouldn't forget jiahui.. who painstakingly sew on "love u abby fr hui" onto one of the lady-lovebug's wings. i'm sorry i took so long to realise >_< i won't forget this even if i get "lao ren chi dai" or alzheimer's disease okie? and i LOVE that bracelet with the colourful ice-cream charms on it :) they are SO CUTE and definitely worth screaming for. i just can't stop dangling them in front of myself, my computer, doodoo, and all whom i've shown the bracelet to.

i will try to put some pics of the lovebug up soon. as well as the little charms on the bracelet (if my camera can capture those details). ^-^ in the meantime, i called transitlink's lost&found department and i'm disgusted to say that my brown paper bag with 6 books in it is still LOST. i detest THAT greedy pig who took it.

i went for my piano exam today. i surely hope all goes well. i try not to think too much about it - cos what's done is done. i can only wait in anticipation for the results to be out.

i was kinda stuck at Katong mall for over an hour because i dropped in at this shop that sold shawls and accessories and got stuck in this conversation with the owner. she went on and on about God, miracles, the superstar competition (namely Kelly) and some other stuff. don't ask me how this happened - i honestly DO NOT know.

anyway, in case you haven't heard - NP's klavier ensemble will be performing at the Esplanade Recital Studio on the 20th of October! please let me know if anyone wants to be a part of this - u just need to buy a ticket! I'll be performing Milhaud's Sorocaba and Bartok's Bagpipers and designing the programme booklet too. =) its not such a big thing cos this studio only seats 245 people and it'll be in the evening of course. Tix are at $10.00 each. N there'll be a guest pianist :)

it seems that all the ladies performing have to be dressed in the same dress - which will be used for a couple of performances. For some reason, i want to wear green/pink/orange - but cheryl (ke) doesn't seem to agree with me on this =/ i guess its kinda bright, but they're not taking black either cos black is too common.

and doesn't anyone think that 40 cents per programme booklet is too cheap? :( if they expect it to be photocopied then fine - we'll definitely wouldn't exceed that budget, but its the ESPLANADE folks.. can't they make it look a little more presentable? of course - what i mean is, presentable = $$ (when it comes to programme booklets).

i apologise for this boring entry. its just an entry to jot down what i've been doing.

because i just felt like doing so.

bee at 10:43 AM

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Monday, August 22, 2005

i am so sorry to say this.

but one of the things i can't stand about being in Singapore.. is that people are just plain dishonest.

too many times before, doodoo and i have accidentally and carelessly and absent-mindedly left our valuables on taxis, etc.

all my experiences except one have led me to conclude that surveys and tests done on Singaporeans can't be trusted!

some time ago, perhaps a year or two ago, there was this article on the Straits Times to state that Singapore is the SECOND most honest place in Asia. They left 10 wallets around each of the 10 countries in the region to see how many of them were returned. in singapore, 8 were returned if my memory didn't fail me.

i have lost my precious N3310 with modified white lights, a translucent white casing and a perfect orange Holeman hp dangle. i left it in a cab, and i never managed to get it back.

of course we did the necessary - calling the lost handphone, calling the cab company (but it was of no use because we didn't have the cabbie's cab number) and etc etc. but to no avail. we never got my first handphone back.

doodoo on the other hand, lost his HP on another cab. this time, we acted FASTER. as the cab dropped us off at the ground level of my place, we immediately ran into the guard house, borrowed the phone and called his HP. we were sure that the cabbie had not picked up another customer yet, as everything happened within split seconds. guess what the crappy cabby did! he SWITCHED OFF THE HP the moment he heard it ring! and NEVER returned it.

these phone models sound old, because we lost them like.. YEARS AGO. but they were precious to us secondary school students at that time. especially when we had phone covers that really rocked everyone's world - his was a black cover in some kind of rare texture that was NEVER brought into SG! the cover was authentic, and bought from overseas by his friend. even I agreed that it looked and felt terrific!

then, korkor lost his HP just some time earlier this year. he lost it at zouk, and was sure someone has STOLEN it because moments b4 he realised it was gone, he checked his pockets and it was there. best part was, he said it wasn't at the "common place" of zouk, but he was at the POSH area (which i believe is the velvet underground or sth?). of course tt clever thief switched off his phone before anyone could call.

anyway, then came the HONEST CABBY (for the first and ONLY time). with tons of treasured neocards of doodoo and i in doodoo's wallet, he was close to tears when he left his wallet in the cabby. he kept telling me that the $$ didn't matter, it was the neocards that mattered *awww*... but.. to our surprise.. the HONEST cabby returned the wallet to a Neighbourhood Police Post! :) wHee! we were so glad.. or perhaps even overwhelmed with joy! We called the cab company once again - but this time, to praise the cabby :)

And of course, my most unfortunate & LATEST incident of lost items which helped prove to me that 80% of Singaporeans are simply ignorant AND disdainfully DISHONEST! I left my brown paper bag with SIX library books on a train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and NOBODY suspected that its a suspicious article, nobody reported it to SMRT, and nobody called the police (this says A LOT ABOUT SINGAPOREANS BTW!), and someone simply brought it home and i don't know who! there are 4 books on parenting (these don't come cheap) and 2 storybooks for kiddies! I betcha it must've been a GREEDY FAMILY who picked the bag up! And also included in the bag is doodoo's New Paper! dated 21st august 2005! Today's COPY!!! Oh gawd. I am going to have to pay for the 6 EXPENSIVE BOOKS and i don't even get to keep them and everything that person picked up today is at MY EXPENSE!

That person must be one happy parent today. "Whee! i got free books on the train!". CHEAPO CHEAPO CHEAPO! What did your parents teach you? to be dishonest, greedy and *!@$(!@$*@!($!@*$!???? SHAME SHAME SHAME!

argh. i need those books back.

best part is, the helpful guy at the Boon Lay MRT station helped us to call the train driver or sth or god knows who.. but they said they couldn't find it in the first cabin of the train.

which shows.. THAT GREEDY PERSON WHO TOOK MY BAG OF 6 BOOKS AND TODAY's NEWSPAPER WAS SOMEONE WHO WAS FAST TO ACT! which means that person was KIASU! not only was he/she greedy, he/she was teaching his/her kids to be greedy and dishonest! to think the books in my bag touched on the value of HONESTY! doesn't she READ for God's sake?

well of course. if anyone returns me the bag of books and stuff by Tuesday, i'd be full of praises for him/her. and that would bring my percentage of dishonest singaporeans in my opinion down to 60%. :)

let's pray and hope for me. =)

bee at 12:07 PM

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Saturday, August 13, 2005

You are 47% Virgo

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

this explains a lot about me.

i took the test twice, about more than a week or so apart from each other (as long as i forgot what i chose the first time, i took the 2nd one). and both came up with the same answer.

i am only 47% virgo.

its pretty true.

i'm not as make-up-ey, girly, dress-up-ey as strong and pure virgos are.

my dressing is not as extravagant as theirs basically. neither am i obsessed with being pretty and i don't think i'm vain. (lots of pple disagree with this though - but THINK again - if u never knew me and u just stole a glance at me, would you think that i'm vain? from my dressing, NO.). that's because i don't stand in front of every mirror i walk past to look at my hair and touch-up my make up. :) and also, who doesn't like to look good? i'm picky when it comes to clothes and as long as i think it looks so-so, chances are i wouldn't buy it. but being picky doesn't necessarily mean i'm a vainpot.

AND. as much as i like certain things to be clean, i am NOT a cleanliness freak and there's hardly any order in the things such as my schoolbooks, clothes and blablablabla things u can find in my house around me. (except my schooltimetable and project deadlines and exam dates).

lastly, i am not a horoscope freak because i don't read daily horoscope stuff and believe them completely. how often do they come true?

apparently, there's this incident in sec4 whereby i was having a chat with Hartini while doing my Batik (Art). she was toking to me abt what different ppl r like based on their horoscopes. and after some time.. i was like.. "you actually believe in that kinda thing?". Hartini asked if i was Aquarius (NOPE!) and her 2nd guess was VIRGO. HAHA!

i was SHOCKED, APPALLED, whatever. "HOW DID YOU KNOW?". she claims that only 2 kinds of ppl would say that - namely the aquarius people and the virgoes. LOL.

i thought this episode was interesting, cos it was sth new to me, though not exactly funny to some extent.

because of my birthdate, which is at the very start (either 1st or 2nd day) of the virgo period and very close to the end of Leo, some may suggest that i am half a leo.

perhaps so, in certain ways - but i doubt its the arrogant and egoistic part - because i laugh at egoistic people and not myself. i think, its the "ALWAYS WANT TO WIN" and i am super stubborn when it comes to getting what i really really want :) BUT, the test results from where i got that 47% virgo thingey suggests that i am only 27% LEO!

haha :) we shouldn't trust the test results, but honestly, if these horoscope thingeys can be trusted, doesn't that mean that all those virgoes have the same character traits in some way or other? -.- that would be so weird.

its unknown's bday today :) and doodoo and i wrapped his classy Metal Gear Solid CD case (it doesn't look cheap kay!! and wasn't cheap oso la) in 19 layers of wrapping paper, 18 of which were newspapers. the 19th layer was a HOT PINK one with a super dooper cute wabbit on it n a cuddly cat too! =) chosen by me of course - who would pick such a gay thing for a guy right? HAPPY TEARING! :) we also decided to tell him that its a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle inside that was purchased from the PASAR MALAM. HAHA - which explains the laoya yellow A4-sized plastic bag. we're going 4 steamboat tonight and i don't like it =/ o well.

bee at 11:33 PM

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Friday, August 12, 2005

what i want for my birthday = my duty to find out?

Lost Good Things by "god-knows-who" from the Initial D soundtrack
(i'm in love with this song - love the tune but some of the lines are missing cos i couldn't figure 'em out. it sounds so sad doesn't it? reminds me of the tearful Jay Chou scene in Initial D - hmm maybe that's why i like it?)
---------------------------------------------
pull off the blindfold
r u just too cold?
u got me on the edge of extremes
and i can't believe it
i don't know what to think

i felt good times come
i thought they'd stay
things are done baby come what may
angels came but they left today
and i let you slip away

listen now
burnt and empty
still this can't be
believe it or not
not that happy
hotel or motel its hot in hell
free from myself
but now i'm left with no home

i want u to know
i never would have figured out that you played me out
we could've been forever
now its bringing me down
the high now the low
up and down we go
put myself too close
got burnt like toast
feel like i'm sinking in the dead sea
don't even care this space inside is so empty

its like its over before it begun
this song is over now so is someone
---------------------------------------------

please stop asking me abt what i want for my BDAY. i seriously mean it when i say "don't buy anything". if its the thought that really counts, then why do u pple keep asking me what i want for my birthday since ONLY THE THOUGHTS COUNT?

and another thing is. if u can't accept what's on the wishlist then don't. because i never expected anyone to.

since friday the 5th of aug till wed the 10th of aug, i only had 3 hours of sleep each day for 3 days during that entire period. i have absolutely n0 time to shop at all, so i don't know what i want. but what i definitely don't need are:

1. skinny and small stuff (photo frames included under the skinny category. REMEMBER BEE'S GOLDEN RULE OF THE GREEDY PAWS: its the big, fat, squishy and cuddly things that help to make me smile for obvious stress-free reasons)
2. perfume
3. fake eyelashes or superglue aka cosmetics stuff
4. clothes (because u obviously don't know my size better than i do).
5. accessories like earrings/necklaces unless otherwise stated on the wishlist

what i do need are:
1. birkenstock voucher (but shereen says we can't buy 'em off the counter - its NOT because they don't give discounts but they just don't allow my friends to pay $20 CASH for a $20 voucher and besides she claims its only $20 -.- but its still $_$ right?)
2. Haru Scene @ Far East Plaza SOFT rebonding voucher
3. birkenstock english garden sandals (the ones with the pink buckles and i don't want the Madrid cutting please)(i was told to save up for 'em instead - thanks a bunch).
4. Singapore Duck Tours voucher for a couple (do note its not one of my first 3 choices but nevertheless its here because i can't think of much else).
5. Abercrombie Sierra Floral Mini in Pink, or Abercrombie Caitlin oxford Mini in White. BOTH with ribbon belts and rhinestone pins pretty please :) this is almost impossible to find now in my size (plus the fact that abercrombie's not a local brand :(), and if anyone ever did, it'll be a steal to grab it at any price below SGD$75.

'nuff said. the reason why people have almost-impossible-to-get-things-unless-you're-superbly-rich things on their wishlist ie because, they would have bought it themselves if it was obtainable (no level of difficulty or rarity or skills involved) / affordable (we don't like holey wallets :)). i am TURNING 18 THIS YEAR (2005) BTW. and this is about the only time i'd spell out my actual age for all to see :) MUAHAHAHA.

i am in an extremely trashy mood NOW so that's all i have in mind.

because.. WHY ON EARTH AM I FORCED (REPEATEDLY) TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?!?!?!?! SINCE WHEN DID IT BECOME MY "DUTY?!?!?!".

i consider it to be pretty good considering the no. of pimples i have on my face = frustration PLUS lack of sleep = so am i tired or frustrated?!?!?! with a financial management test worth 40% of my overall grade on my birthday and a piano exam on the 25th of aug - which is "tomorrow" of my birthday, !(@$(@!$*@!$(@!???

BAH.

bee at 12:34 PM

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

i want to have grey fingernails like DUMBO!

i want to have grey fingernails like DUMBO!i want to have grey fingernails like DUMBO!i want to have grey fingernails like DUMBO!i want to have grey fingernails like DUMBO! :)

UNLESS. i engage the help of xiaxue to adobe-photoshop dumbo's toenails to pink! :)

which reminds me of the fab time i spent at Celebrity Nails @ Park Mall =) although Celeb Nail's price is $5 more than Voxy's (yes i sound like a cheapo - which i am actually one at times), it was comparable to voxy's! :)

firstly, the paint they used consists of a very good mixture of whatever's contained in it. i dunno how to explain this. but it is almost like Voxy's nail colours - the sheen, the texture, the thickness and all :)

then, comes the SKILLS of the mani/pedicurist. :) she rawks man. okay i'm using the word 'she' cos shereen and i forgot to ask for her name? anyway, her painting skills are good!! as in.. REALLY GOOD! haha. she seriously makes your nails look perfect!

which is why, other than Voxy, i have found ANOTHER favourite place to do my nails!! :) BTW. i must mention at Voxy's Mysterious Blue colour rawks too!! :D

i love the scrub too :) it exfoliated all my dead skin on my feet and for ONCE, my feet look fair-er again! :) please don't ask me why my feet are exceptionally vulnerable to the sun. if you ask me - my feet will be the FIRST part of my entire anatomy to get sunburnt. maybe cos they're always neglected - i don't seem to remember putting any sunblock on them :) they ALWAYS become scorching red so easily :(

i don't do manicures btw. i've only done that once in my entire life cos the paint got scratched off so easily (Wasted my $20 manicure at voxy). we use our hands to work, to blablabla, to do everything - that's why! manicures don't last on me.

ooh. and i went to city harvest last Sunday. before i forget, many thanks to shin - she's SOOOO nice!!! she gave me her minty cropped top!

abt city harvest, i told Jane and gang that they must've said Amen 10000 times and hallelujah (is this how u spell it?) 5000 times. it is one church that has out-of-this-earth brainwashing skills i think. dun ask me why cos i can't tell u what is so powerful about this.

but. i am still bee. i'm still a non-christian. but it doesn't always mean that non-christians don't believe in christ. we're just. free-thinkers okay? so stop hitting on us like we've never heard the word "God". *this does not refer to anything that happened at city harvest so don't get me wrong - i must admit that this happens at ALMOST every other church who's trying to spread the word of God though*

it was appalling to see tons of thousands of ppl speaking in "Tongues" (is this how u spell it too? haha i'm ignorant - is that a bliss?). and also, the pastor from NZ's blowing wind into the face thing onto people who wanted to become a christian. they actually FELL BACK! cel says its because the "power" is too strong. (ok i'm ignorant again!).

another falling-back thing that happened there was when they called for people who had been having nightmares/sleepless nights or anything night-marish at night for that matter. the pastor from NZ believes that there are evil spirits in their bodies that cause them to feel that way.. then the entire thing began. it was a drama-mama thing that sent people falling back again. he seemed to push "air" UP from the person's tummy area using the upward motion of an open palm and then used his hand to CHOP! in a downward direction. -thinks of karate chop-. i'm not making fun of these things that i saw but.. i feel like a baby who has just seen things that she has never seen before.

anyway, i now know and understand why mel never fails to kill her blogs after some time. her blog addy changes ooh-so-often and i can't even rem'ber how many she's had before since i got to know her in sec 3. well i'm not sure if i'm suffering from the same thing as she is - i've got nth to write anymore!! and i feel like killing my innocent blog!!

blogs are nasty thingS! like i said before, they take away my emails to mel & friends because i assume and think that they already know what's going on in my life because i take it as "I bet they've read my blog already".

they're nasty things because people bitch about others in them.

they're nasty things cos fugly people now use their blogs to gain fame through all sorts of ways! (flashing of nude pics which they claim is ART!?!?!?)

they're nasty things because i am convinced that they are nasty things.

why can't the good ol' blog just be a good ol' blog?

because it is a WEB journal - not a personal diary.

and everyone in the entire World Wide Web can view it. so people start wanting a blog to be their career (its true! SHE - singapore's best female blogger who loves being on the news and then comments about how fat she looks in the news article, WANTS her blog to be her career!). xiaxue has indeed proven to us that an innocent blog with quirky thoughts and writing skills is something that you could use to bring fame to your name without having to do anything but constantly updating ur blog for a year. BUT. sad to say, it is such a pity that others who are unworthy of all that fame OR even infame have manipulated the above statement by using an un-innocent blog with the lack of great writing skills and lack of funny thoughts.

to lots of people out there:
a blog is NO longer just a diary!! its now something they want others to see (and that is no way in which known as a "personal journal/diary")! so obviously, these people who want to be what others want to see may just be ACTING behind that screen in thought and all and you wouldn't even know it! and yet you just simply believe it!. just look at what technology has done to the world.

true, communication's sped up be more than a hundred thousand times but i haven't touched on the issue of efficiency and customer service (this includes customer service hotlines and their efficiency - everything is now "Please Check Our Website") and i HATE IT when i call singnet with a problem with my internet connection or call Acer/IBM or any other computer company because my computer (and hard drive included) has CRASHED. WHY? cos they just tell me "please visit our website". if i can't even switch on my computer, how do i visit your freakin' website that may or may not even be user-friendly?!?!?!?!?!?!

okay back to my point. the world is in denial. they bitch abt someone on their blog and then they start to defend themselves by saying "i am not jealous". or.. "i am just someone who knows what the truth is and i am just stating facts" and "i'm not arrowing any accusations at her whatsoever".

i think that... sometimes it pays to be unnoticed, unfamous. so you don't KNOW about all that bitching that's going on behind you and at the same time, you probably would never find out about how much people hate or despise you.

after all, it is nothing but an act. an act of denial. an act of trying to be who you are not. FAKIES. SUPERFICIALITY. it has ENGULFED everyone!

so what is your purpose of having a blog? to scream it all out or to have a go at fame by using blogspot has a host & publisher of your Naked Artwork?

and why do i still blog?

beats me. some things are purely senseless.

but one thing i know - i am not a fan of personality piracy (for example, fakies who want to become famous singapore-callgirls modelled after xxx).

bee at 11:29 PM

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