Saturday, August 27, 2005

i am so relieved that Field Practicum 2.1 is FINALLY over. ten gruelling weeks of having to meet children who ignore my presence (i don't even get minimal eye contact at all), adjust to new surroundings.. (sometimes new places make me lost as i've got a bad sense of direciton), as well as new routines and all. initially, that was what happened, and now, i'm just glad that i'm one step closer to my holiday. i just can't wait for it to be here.

when i reflect and think about what i've been through for the whole ten weeks of FP, i have lots to thank the children for. firstly, i learnt to be unafraid of spiders and less afraid of earthworms from them.. and then i learnt that i've really got to open up more.. and i'll seriously never forget this whole experience. at the end of 10 sessions, i'm just SO GLAD, really really GLAD that i'm no longer some alienic stranger to the kids. it was so endearing to have received a hug each from georgina (on her last day =( of school) and chloe.

as we all know, i'm such a last min person when it comes to assignments. i hope my friends don't kick me outta their group because of this.. but honestly, i need that PUSH and that SENSE OF URGENCY. and of course, i need my sleep. but i tend to sacrifice it to complete the project the night before. somehow this just goes on. but at least, i'm not the person who likes to do half of something and leave it there till i start to work on the 2nd half of things much later. sometimes it can be difficult to catch back on to what u were thinking about at first, so the only time u'd ever see me doing that is when i'm completely clueless and i just need to skip so as not to waste time.

when it comes to progressive things aka assignments that cannot be completed in one day, i really must thank my friends though. its a good thing that they make me sit down with them and do stuff. but sometimes, i just switch off. having only a miserable amount of 4 hours of sleep leaves my mind blank when i wake up. i do know that i'm not the only one who's tired.. but am i the only one who's complaining aloud? perhaps.

then again, whenever a door closes, a new one opens. it seems that all assignments work this way - all the way to the end of the semester, and so do tests. would anyone believe me if i said i really don't knoow how to do my FM? i find that for Financial Management i have to commit lots of stuff to memory - and that is very difficult for me. maybe i'm just too extreme.. i can be a "spur of the moment" person i think. but honestly, i don't understand which ones are operating flows, and financing flows and investing flows so i have to memorise that if possible. i don't know which ones are long term liabilities. and i can't remember if it is a source/use when assets/liabilities increase! i feel like i'm babbling. but i really can't help it!

a very tired and sleepy bee with eyeballs that are crying out in pain now wrote this. God Bless Me!

i am so mad with myself btw. on the night of my birthday, - yes the very day itself -, i was told i needed the original score for my exam - which somehow or rather i forgot that i had it so i thought i had misplaced it. doodoo and i went round many musical shops, calling 100 (60 cents per call + 20 cents for them to connect it for you) several times, and running here and there. it was terrible. i finally found one last copy at kino, and was overjoyed. i felt the book looked rather familiar, and i felt that i had it already, but i just brushed it off and told myself that the one i have is of another grade. it was 9pm by the time i had dinner @ swensons, and i drooled over the ice-cream mooncakes in a square shape. they're all chocolate coated and come in a box with 4 flavours $30 (*hmph* i don't get to choose) - wasabi, strawberry+chocolatate+vanilla, green tea and my favourite: MANGO ICE-CREAM WITH PEACH CUBES/PIECES!

anyway, i found the book in a drawer later on at night when i happened to be looking for construction paper! and i couldn't believe my eyes. the book was in excellent condition - better than the one i bought at kino, but i didnt check to see if the pages have yellowed. oh :( i was tricked by my own memory. but at least, buying it served as a "just-in-case" kinda thing as i completely forgot where i had placed this book (can u imagine? this nut over here actually thought that i never had it in the first place?).

this seems to be another narration of what happened in my life. = boring entry again.. i need to perk myself up or something. maybe i'll go splash some icy cold water all over myself later. btw i've been having this SUPER-persistent headache lately. it started off as an ache, with the back part of my head feeling most of the pain, n my temples. however, nowadays when i move - walk or bump around in the bus, the pain becomes sth else - what i call a "seizure". i just feel like there's a clamp inside my head, at the back of the inside of my head, that just bites down on my brain or something (or simply the inside of the back of my head). >_< SAVE ME.
bee at 10:42 AM