Thursday, June 19, 2008

of goodbyes, happy chats and youth.

just yesteray i went for hi-tea (which was my lunch) at delifrance with my colleagues from both branches.

they presented me with a card (which i called a scrapbook cos everyone wrote on a piece of paper each) which didn't make me cry, but made me feel like it was so hard to smile during the post-meal, post-presentation photo-taking time.

and just before that i attended my exit interview, where i said it doesn't feel like it was 16 months ago that i stepped into the very same building for my first "entrance" interview. i also shared (once more) that i had gotten into this course a year ago, but i held back because i really wanted to give it a shot at this particular centre, and at that point in time, i wished i could still stay because i couldn't believe i was finally leaving.

anyway, back to hi-tea, i was all smiles.. (much to the dismay of some colleagues haha). i felt this was't a time to cry, but after the whole thing i really didn't feel like smiling either. the feeling was just undescribable. it's as if it's time to let go and i know i can but yet at the same time it's as if letting go requires some sort of getting used to. it's just weird.

i got a present as well - a voucher from digiskin (along with the free meal X_X had i known it was going to be free i would've ordered just dessert or something LOL). digiskin is the place i've always wanted to go to get my phone wrapped in that zebra-print skin which caught my eyes since the first time i visited the place. i looked through their designs on their computer yesterday when my colleague accompanied me to the store after the meal, and nothing else grabbed my attention. well, i've had 2 comments from people that it looks lian.. but who cares. it's just the phone that's lian right? hahaha. it may say sth abt me.. but i think it's pretty nevertheless. however, they warned that the sticker may not go too well with the slight rubber-texture of my phone and may damage it. heck. i'm never going to remove my skin unless it's screwed, and if that ever happens i'll just have to skin it again! :X as long as nothing gets INTO the phone to spoil it, i'm fine i guess. anyway i didn't get it done last night because the process'll take 2 hours, so i decided i'll go back another day.

i had to check out gramophone after digiskin as well, because they were playing olivia ong's songs :) i was so tempted to grab her CDs.. but considering how i broke i am and am going to continue to be, i decided against it. i've been shopping way too much for my own good, using my comeback to school as a valid excuse for buying tees and tanks - which are the things that make me feel younger (and are also the things that Ailay noticed i haven't been wearing ever since i started working, if i'm not wrong). my mom's credit card has suddenly become mine - or at least i'm treating it as though it is! woops.

ah.. tomorrow is orientation day and i'm only half-looking forward to it. not much of a surprise, if you know me well. and what's even worse is that i got myself a horrendous haircut the day before yesterday. my hair's sticking out at all the wrong places because she cut it so that it ends just above my shoulder, at the place which i describe as the not-long not-short area! whenever my hair ends up there, i cannot help but feel as though it takes ages to grow past it. the last time my hair ended up there was in secondary one where everytime the hair hit that spot i'd go for a haircut because i couldn't tie it up, i couldn't not-tie it up as it was simply too fugly. i almost allowed myself to cut it yesterday, as i brought a pair of scissors along with me to the bathroom and plucked up my courage and everything to just snip away. pity though, as i looked at my bathroom mirror i realised i didn't know how to cut my hair at all, so i grudgingly dragged my feet back to my room to put the scissors back at exactly where they were from. now i can only wait, and wait in pain, along with the pain of my bruised toe - yes it still hurts badly and is swollen, after an entire week, so i've decided i've had enough of fugliness (the bruise isn't going to go away for a long time) and booked myself in for a pedicure.

something else that's really great to look forward to would be my meeting with Ailay later on this week, on Saturday, aka Slackurday *beams*. ailay suggested we do something different for once, instead of the usual shopping and eating, and i willingly agreed! i even expressed my utmost excitement and explained it all to her when she mentioned the word "Sentosa". HOHOHO yes i am that happy, because i am looking forward to slacking at coastes, watching the world go by, enjoying some salad (that's the only place where i ever eat salad) and.. PLAYING. play with what? with Ailay! on the LUGE! and chairlift! wahahaha. best of all? we can just walk around in comfy shorts.. and i can act cute with my heart sunglasses. what better way to spend a saturday! oh but i think i should steer clear and faraway from the CLEO shoot. there's 500 bikini babes there whom i do not want to meet because i'll just let their hotbods get the better of me. yesyesyes it's inferiority complex but i cannot help it. here i am - fat and flabby and there they are, slim and lanky or curvy and boobaceous. haha!

our initial plans were to go for dimsum.. probably at yum cha or shang palace (my current fav because they serve soft chee cheong fun with delectable sauce PLUS buns with a custard-eggyolk mix!!!!), and then head down to her neighbour's for me to alter the many clothes i have for alteration. :X! i've been going to a very expensive tailor, spending well over a hundred now for just extremely minimal alterations of 4 pieces of clothing, so i decided it wouldn't hurt to visit someone else who's equally trustworthy and who has the recommendation for great workmanship of one of my most trusted buddies. it really is worth a try, after hearing the raves of what she can do and has done! reb has also been to someone who works from home (a friend of her mother) and the work she did looks fab too. i'm amazed with all these tailors who work from home! it's so secret, so stashed away from town, so behind my naked eyes! anyway, to make our Sentosa plan work out, Ailay has cast aside her tuition session on that saturday morning, while I have hidden my desire for the alteration of my clothes (hehehe), and the both of us have put away our craving for dimsum to go to Sentosa to SLACK AWAY! (i don't like the term "chill" because i think it sounds so act-cool. i don't know why i used it when i was talking on the phone with Ailay, but slack is my right word to use - it's direct and clear, just SLACK).

i have planned my outfit for the day :D so now i just need to pray and hope that the weather'll turn out fine! there's shopping (after all) after Sentosa.. and i'm looking forward to it as well because Ailay's going to show me where exactly i can get extreme-moisturising shampoo and ice-cream and cupcake tank tops or tees. WOOOOOOT! ^^ just thinking of what Saturday'll be like makes me beam with all the glee and delight in this world now.

in fact, yesterday i was smiling like a dope in public because i was trying to control my laughter. Ailay and i were talking about sexy shit, funny stuff which we never, or hardly ever talk about, and that was precisely what was replaying in my mind the whole time while i was out! we were laughing and laughing and laughing.. we were laughing at each other's reactions at certain moments where i cannot decide if whatever was funny because of our reactions alone or if it was because the reaction mixed in with the moment inappropriately enough to make it seem so appropriate for laughter! (my cold, calm "no" and her high-pitched "oh"). haha! anyway, Ailay and i hardly ever chat on the phone, and even her bf was surprised when she told him that WE were on the PHONE. thing is, i never knew it could be so enjoyable! ever since the internet came into my life, i hardly ever had a good, hour(s)-long chat anymore.

ailay and i also spoke about how crazy we were in terms of shopping. i don't want to think about defining a shopaholic, and whether or not we are shopaholics, but one thing that i'm quite happy (or maybe surprised as well) to know is that, both of us have a bed full of clothes! which means, WAHAHAHA i'm not the only one in the world, or in Singapore, with a bed full of clothes! well you see, both ailay and i have an extra bed each. i have an extra bed because my bro decided to take the hard bed after sleeping on the soft jumpy one for a while, so now i have 2 soft jumpy springy beds in my room. ailay on the other hand, has an extra bed now because her sister's gotten married and has moved out. so with common sense, we figured that's extra, convenient space for clothes - a love!! and with that, a thought just hit me - we could sleepover at each other's places! just the other day, i was thinking about the lack of girly, youthful sleepovers in my current 20-year-old life. aren't sleepovers the thing which makes girls feel like they're still 9 years old? ooh! how lovely. ailay and i briefly discussed sleepovers (i think some several years ago) but have never discussed it in greater detail as we just get busier and busier as we grow older (BOO :(!). well maybe on saturday (if i ever do remember) we could talk about it again (as we did years ago)! only thing is, it's been 4 years since the day i first met ailay, and i'm not sure if we'll end up feeling younger as we talk about an old topic, or if we'll actually end up feeling much older, having realised that as we re-visit an old topic, it means that.. we've grown to be as old as the topic for it to be called OLD, and that the fact that we have to RE-visit what we've talked about years before means, we're sorta RE-vising our youth. omg. now i can understand why i always write my age is 20+ and not 21.

because, i want to be 20 (twentie). i don't want to be in my twentieS. :)
bee at 12:01 PM