Saturday, April 26, 2008

looking forward to moving on..

doo's gone for training for the next 7 weeks and that means i'll only be seeing him on weekends T_T~~ and today's a saturday - so i'm happieeee!

and i've just received notice from wheelock earlier this week about the likelihood of me getting in for their 2nd intake in NP :D wahahaha~! g00t news!

what happened was on monday night i couldn't sleep from 3-5am because i was brooding about not getting into wheelock and about whether or not i should've asked them earlier on if having gotten in last year would be something they'd consider for next year's intake. so in the morning at 7am before i went to work, i emailed the relevant peeps about it, and they considered it as me showing continued interest in the programme, so the guy i emailed contacted some people on top and i'm now the next on the waiting list.

so i had to submit my resignation on wednesday :( last day of work on the 22nd, school starts officially on the 23rd (though we musn't forget those weekly english writing classes T_T!). well anyway, the head of centre's currently holding on to my resignation until i receive a confirmation or the enrolment package from the uni. that's really nice T_T~~~ i am teaching the 3 cutest kids and i don't know how to tell them, or their parents that i'm leaving (if i really am). i think that's the hardest part - i don't owe them a living, but i feel responsible for some part of their kid's education even though eventually everyone copes. usually the school doesn't change the teachers of newly enrolled kids for a year to a year and a half.. to help them to get settled etc. o well. the head of C said it's probably better for me in the long run.. and i guess this is something i want and have to do this year. He has heard my prayers and hopes and wishes.. which i prayed and hoped and wished really hard for what I wanted (just that one thing) to come true and it did, while I had silently in the back of my heart thought of the possibility that maybe, yes maybe, something last minute would happen (to my benefit).

anyway even if it wasn't meant to be, it just means there's something else i have to do. as long as time spent on whatever's not wasted, i'm glad.

i was reading this article some time ago (from one of the sections in the straits times), and it said that for a job to be fufilling, an employee has to know that what he or she does has an impact on another person in some way or other. and i think that's so true. that line answered my question on Why do i travel all the way to the far east end of Singapore every morning admist the crowd of other people who do too? on some days there is dread, on other days i'm just feeling neutral, seeing it as something i have to do or something i do every other day. but i realise that at the end of the day, it's always different from the start because it is at the end that i feel somewhat happy, fufilled, and it feels like i've done something good - which is to help someone else improve, help that someone to learn while having fun, while that someone does the same for me. Everyday is different, and that's what scares me most in the morning, the unpredictability (so ASD) but I realised through time that every single day is a different pebble which forms the path, our journey and so no two days can be totally the same - it would be boring then.

anyway, dim sum later with my family, and dimsum tomorrow at shang-ri-la's shang palace with doodoo. all this while i have not totally recovered my voice, but still i'm feeling woohoo about it! :D weekends are lovely. saturdays especially, because sundays are when i have pre-monday-blues. haha!
bee at 9:43 AM