Monday, January 14, 2008

i do not like thinking of subject titles.

when i think of the only boy i am currently teaching, i cannot help but wonder what it is like to have speech that is sometimes so unclear that people cannot understand what is it you're saying. and also, is it worse to have unclear speech and therefore a lack of understanding of your words from others, or is it worse to have clear speech (and articulation) but only to be misunderstood or un-understood.

what happened the week before last when i was teaching him was that he kept repeating a particular word which i couldn't make anything out of. i thought he was saying spiderman, but nothing in front of me was related to spiderman, except a picture of a tee shirt in blue and red which i was holding. his mom and i couldn't figure out what he was saying and so he just kept repeating that word, with me asking him repeatedly if he was trying to say spiderman, and him giving me a response and expression which indicated that no, he wasn't. when i finally understood what that word was, which was 'rubberband', his face lit up into one of the brightest smiles i've ever seen. he is the smileyest little boy i've ever met, but at that point where an almost expressionless face turned immediately into an extremely bright smile, i knew he was really, really glad. of all the smiles i've ever seen on his face, this was truly the brightest and i felt so happy too~ and at the same time a little bad, for all the times that i didn't take time to actually try harder to figure out what he was saying. it's as if his smile told me how much understanding that simple word he said meant to him.

which brings me to the late afternoon/evening when i caught the nanny diaries. i thought it was just another chick flick which men wouldn't ever want to be caught watching, but surprisingly, doodoo accompanied me (reason being there was nth else to watch haha). still, i appreciate the kind gesture. anyway, that show was good. enlightening. and is something i'd definitely recommend to all (not just parents, nannies, caregivers, but everyone). it just screams love your child. and love as in making him feel loved. who's to say wanting to send your child to a renowned school is wrong? or that making him follow a strict soy diet is bad? there isn't exactly a right way to love a child, i'd like to believe, but surely every child would like to simply be with his/her loved one, just like how we would, in that same way. and since that's one of the possible things that mean the most to kids, i suppose that's how we can make them feel loved. i'm not sure if that's what the show was getting at, but that's what i got out of it, and watching it did not make me crave for sex and the city. haha~ which means it was hardly the least bit boring! YAY~

7 weeks more to my dear, dear holiday.

in the meantime, i got to get decent CNY clothes and my application to the wheelock programme ready. i can't believe i'm bracing myself for a horrid chance to be with people who are a year younger than me X_X. yes i'm prejudiced to some extent.

oh and i so gotta mention that i was so touched by Jane's xmas pressie for me (and oh gawd i haven't passed the 3 girls their xmas pressies!). well, she gave me an organiser (my 4th for the year) and it was personalised with my name in ORANGE (yippee!) at the front, and poly photos inside. who cares that i look like shit in those photos? i'm so moved by her sweet gesture of actually taking the time and effort to include little notes of friendship along with those photos of us as a group. i genuinely miss those times. on most days i am practically friendless (though obviously NOT colleagueless) to an extent and i have to squeeze in friend time (can u imagine that?) because on normal days it is just work and sleep - i don't even know how i find the time to shit haha. ok this is getting crude :X but as much as work helps to organise my sleep-schedule, everything else just takes a back seat. still, i shudder at the thought of calling it quits at work. i still am, asking myself, how i am ever going to bring myself to do it. as of now, it is by force and with the help of my excuse: school, which i'm not exactly convinced it is a good excuse, considering the subject matter isn't directly related to what i'm doing right now.

well, i have 3 more months to go before i submit THAT letter so i want to enjoy the goodness of a politics-free environment in the meantime before i throw myself off it.
bee at 12:40 PM