Saturday, July 28, 2007

what am i doing typing this post at 3+am?!

guess what? my confirmation appraisal is coming up this month, as august marks my 6th month of working with the association.

and no prizes for guessing how i'm feeling: scared.
you might've guessed as well, i'm scared because i want to stay.

i shared this with a fellow colleague who's also new to the association, but she's got 1.5 years of working experience as a teaching assistant in another school, so i said she didn't need to worry while for me, i can't even teach any kid on my own T_T cos i'm usually in need of help! she said pretty comforting stuff that made me think. something like.. i need to chill out cos otherwise i'll burn out easily and everything'll be negative and i added: nothing would work out when that happens. and one more thing that she said~ its not easy teaching these kids, so there's an incubation period of 2 years or so before you can actually teach on your own. i was so relieved to hear that. that perhaps it is normal to feel new and inexperienced. and lastly, now that i'm thinking of it, she's starting to think of it too~ but seriously, i wasn't worried until the head said the words "kicked out". i don't like the sound of that. at all.

honestly i hope nobody overheard that at work, though i think surely someone must've since there were people standing outside the room and i have absolutely no idea what they were doing there. furthermore i can be pretty loud and high when exclaiming stuff.

anyway a 3rd kid is arriving on this Wednesday - doodoo's bday, so i hope that is good news. plus i'm on a Fundamentals of Autism course on that day till 9pm T_T~

and when Mon comes i'll see cuddly-boy again~ whee :)

PS doodoo said i can relax more now that he's back :) and that i don't have to be tensed up~ that was so nice to hear (or rather see, since it was via SMS) and i couldn't help but smile like a stupid dope at work when i saw that message. ahaha :X i can be such a nut at times~
bee at 3:32 AM