Tuesday, July 17, 2007

i need a mid-term holiday.

omg. sometimes when i come back to my blog i'm like.. "sheesh, i never realised i hadn't written in so long!".

maybe that's all.. almost all the time. :X

perhaps i could use my tired arms as an excuse.. haha. been teaching the 2.5 year old boy yesterday and today and everytime the head walks in i start behaving like a headless nut - messing up all over the place, reacting very slowly, getting stuck here and there.. :X but the lil boy is so cute. i never realised lil kids could be that endearing to carry. and i bought his whiny-ness (teh) last afternoon, thinking he was sleepie.. but today was different. i insisted that he stay within the large group activity : music time! and he did. the head calls it a major breakthrough, and i can't help but feel happy about this little achievement. after all, this is the 1st time in 4 weeks that he has sat in for the entire music and movement lesson!! but my arms are aching now.. from constant carrying over 2 days.. X_X

honestly, this job is somewhat super challenging to me - to the extent that for the first time in the soon-to-be 20 years of my life, i'm actually scared of getting sacked for my lack of experience in handling these kids.

its just so different from childcare. in childcare u can prepare a lesson, and carry it out. you can already visualize and imagine the whole scenario of, for example, storytime and how u're gonna share the story. what u've got to handle on the spot is the behaviour, of misbehaviour :X haha. but i feel its different at where i work at. because right now i can't even imagine or visualize how exactly i am gonna present a task to a child, how to go about showing the kid how to do it (positions really matter! i learnt that today).. and these are just about the things that look so natural and easy to do.. but they're not - cos i overlooked them and got it all wrong today. its no longer just about teaching on the surface.. its about showing a kid how to go about doing a task and learning on his own, its about making sure that he learns.. in addition to managing his/her behaviour at the same time~ and its no longer just about making sure that the majority learns.

its difficult to explain it.. because 99% of what i learn is based on real life, practical situations. the knowledge can't be found in books, and to some extent i am really grateful for this opportunity to learn. i guess mom was right - i am being paid to learn.

i've also been talking to some poly friends. apparently, i realised that whether or not its study-time or work-time.. both can be equally stressful. at this point in time, i guess its comfortable to go back to studying, because ultimately the stress of being paid to perform to expectations and standards in front of intimidating real life situations is not there when u're studying (but there's the stress of a pile of homework yea? lol). but i can't imagine what study-life'll be like again, surviving on an allowance just like almost everybody else my age. haha. but we'll see. i still want to go back to school, but i just don't know how to quit my job.

in case anyone was wondering what's my latest craze, its little miss and mr men plushies and bag charms. oh puhlease, the teeshirts are way too common. and i can't help but wonder when i'm walking along the streets why someone who, at one glance, would make you think that she looks damn bossy, would actually really wear a "little miss bossy" teeshirt. X_X. that was exactly what i saw in town the other day. LOL. its so amazing. having to prove your impression of a person just by dropping your eyes a little lower down to look at what's on her teeshirt.

ok this sounds so bitchy. but yea. WHY WOULD ANYONE BE PROUD OF BEING BOSSY? i just don't get it. its probably just like how the assertive people would wonder why anyone would be proud of being shy.
bee at 9:55 PM