Wednesday, February 14, 2007

too little time, too many things on my mind.

i feel as if i've reached the crossroads again.

several questions flood my mind.. because i don't want to do something out of impulse, and live to regret it later on.

to work or to study first?
if i study first, what do i study?
if i work first, what do i work as?

do i become a waxing therapist? (the whole world gives me a one-word question for a response when i mention this.. "WHY?"). its something that i want to do just once in my entire lifetime, imo, its fun! its going to look funny on my resume if i decide to go back to teaching. LOL. but anyway, there's a bond and where bonds are concerned, i'm in a lose-lose situation. aniwae, waxing is one of the 5 things i'd like to learn - dancing, driving, knitting, baking and waxing.

do i work in a special needs setting? its cool: aircon, the people there are serious about what they do, the teacher to child ratio is 1:3 per session. if they ever send me for a course, it'll be an Adv. Dip., but i want a degree.

what about being a special needs officer and taking another diploma again =/ one that i'm not sure who else would recognise other than MOE/NIE itself.

well if i choose to study, then what do i do now? all the jobs currently offered are gonna tie me down for at least a year. its true that i haven't exactly started enjoying myself yet, and i wouldn't mind doing so, but i feel guilty taking an allowance without doing anything. well i must say i wouldn't deny at any point in time that studying is comfortable. where teaching is concerned, i think that experience counts - much more so than academics/theories. so if i do get a degree now, it'll probably be for the graduate title, which most people these days already have.

i'm afraid to step out and do the things i've never done before. but yet at the same time, i'm afraid of the chances that i have to let go.. and i'm afraid that opportunities missed may never come by again.

i can't believe i used to say so confidently and positively that life is full of opportunities.
bee at 10:36 AM