Sunday, October 29, 2006

my weekend was spent with a book

cheryl has introduced to me another lovely book. By Jodi Picoult, its entitled My Sister's Keeper.

it didn't make me cry. but it made me shed a tear at the end of it.

seriously. for good books like this one and P.S. I Love You, i just wish they were as thick as a dictionary! so that i could read on for dozens of years!

erm and yeah, in case you were wondering, it is a bestseller of the new york times.

the book really is cute. you'll find a lawyer who names his dog "Judge" in it.

However, the entire story is a big fat irony. That's what makes it frustratingly upsetting - but surprisingly, not enough to make me weep as much as i did for P.S. I Love You! To some extent though, it helps people to see what its like being a parent, what its like being a parent with a child who's really sick and fighting for survival every other day. It's no longer about thinking of how to treat every single kid of yours fairly - ensuring that they all have the same number of meatballs on their plate, which children perceive as the "same share of love". And so it says in there that being a mother is completely different from what a child perceives, "You want your child to have more than you ever did. You want to build a fire underneath her and watch her soar. It's bigger than words."

i only had one reaction. i absorb everything, enough to think that one day i would feel the same towards my children (if i ever have any) whether they were well or whether they were fighting to live. and my heart spells out "Aww" because i knew that was what my parents always had in mind.

Well then again, talking about having children, or not having any. it was so sweet when Kate (the child with leukemia in the book) was hugged by her mommy, Sara. at that moment, when Sara reached out to embrace her daughter who was on the hospital bed, realizing then then that "we never have children, we receive them". An enlightening point for Sara and for myself because I think in that point of the book, it was time she received Kate's feelings. I love this book even more now that i'm recalling what i read. I'm not exactly sure i understand everything that was written though. Basically i think that phrase sounded cool :)

I like and tend to believe that books are social commentaries - or at least those that i love to read are (apart from the Roald Dahl stuff). because social commentaries make people think - in one way or another at least.

Suddenly, reading takes priority over shopping. I had no urge to shop until i finished the book! This is the best interestingometer a book could have cos then it means its at one of the top few places in a person's to-do list at some point of time - even if its only for 2-3 days.

i have so many favourite quotes in that book that i can't keep track of 'em all. but one of my many favourites is "You don't love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not." it reminds me (sorta like making me realise again) that its true - we do love people for what they're not!!! is that where the "opposites attract" part kicks in? X_X.

i also realised that people REALLY don't realise that they've lost something until its really gone/dead. damn it. we know about that - about realising only when its too late, but yet we still let it happen.

Sometimes i wonder what exactly is the definition of "getting over" something. Can it even be defined by words? If a loved one passes away, does getting over it mean that you can get on with life and do things like before? Or to some people, does it mean being able to fall in love again? And if that really happens, why is it that some people still feel so empty inside? Like.. the feeling is not the same as before and that its not what its expected? If that's the case, falling in love again cannot be known as a sign that is used to tell people that you're already getting over something. It's probably just a sign to say you're trying to get on with life - but it may or may not be successful. I sort of realised P.S. I Love You taught me that but i can't remember how. Perhaps it was also part of a random thought.

and also i found something that suits me! --> "I get certifiably crazy when I've got PMS". it is so cool. she just writes PMS like that in her book, expecting all the oldies in the world to understand (with no help given obviously - she didn't state Pre-Menstrual Symptoms. heehee!). :D

i went to gleneagles yesterday to visit Brendan, my nephew. (my brother's nt married yet, so obviously its my cousin's kid). he went for heart surgery.. and he is recuperating well in ICU. the doc says that once he's moved to a "normal" ward, (i'd prefer to use the word General), it means he's close to going home. so let's hope that comes soon! little boily brendan!!

it was also the first time i went INSIDE gleneagles ever since the time i was born. well i could never remember what it looked like since i was only a day to 3 days old then. but now i do! LOL. as we sat outside the ICU to talk (only 2 visitors, other than parents) were allowed into brendan's ward at any one time, it was terrifying to see people being wheeled into the operating suite. It struck fear in me - what if i would have to be the one being wheeled in one day? For God knows what reason? CHOY! but .. really. we'll never know. basically, it was terrifying to watch as it terrified me to think about me being in their shoes even though i don't know what kinda op they were going for.

if only life was a giant teddy bear and we're all little boys and girls who play with that teddy bear - that we could hug it and never let go, and never grow old.

but perhaps life may really seem like a giant teddy bear to some children. its big. overwhelmingly huge and intimidating, almost as much as it's cute. and it just makes one feel so small - maybe that's why we all wanted to grow up ASAP, as quickly as possible, only to realise we wished we were tiny again.

Based on the amount of thinking that went on in my head, how emotionally disturbed I was with the ending - frustration, shock, disbelief, you name it - i have felt it!, (how could someone who kept someone physically alive for 16 years be the very person who kept that person living for another 8 years and counting while she herself passed on? the bane of her existence, life is unfair.), not forgetting laughter at different points during the time that was spent reading this book, I am convinced that it was definitely worth my while to read it *heehee*. I seriously wish the author wrote more (about what i don't have a clue at all because the ending was well-rounded up so i guess after all that was great enough!!), but all good things must come to an end, or at least this one did.
bee at 2:35 PM