Sunday, September 10, 2006

army-time musings

the army is full of terms that i do not understand.

platoon, company.. etc. etc.. i couldn't get the number of people in them right until a friend kindly explained them to me. it was so confusing, i got everything wrong at first.

i also thought that the term "seaside company" meant that the people who were in it would be doing lots of seasports. haha. but it was merely a company that resided in BMT school 2 (which could hold many companies).. and thus consisted of many blocks of buildings situated nearer the sea as compared to where BMT school 1 was located. BMT = basic military training :X at least i knew what that was!

when i could finally string together something like this:
1 company = 196 people staying in one block.
1 platoon = 48 people staying on one storey in the block.
1 storey in the block = 4 rooms = space for 1 platoon.
1 room = 12 people.

YAY.

its amazing that i could get it. no wonder everyone says i should've gone for the tour. LOL.

i also learnt that there were 5 levels on each block. the ground level is where the officers and sergeants stay. the next four storeys above that house the entire company. and each storey houses a platoon.

=)

doodoo sent me an MMS of himself (with his shaved head) with a short note attached to it the night before last. I could tell he was wearing the signature grey singlet with the word ARMY printed on it. my first reaction of seeing his face was to laugh. :X i showed it to mummy and she said he looks cute. LOL.

but now i can't stop looking at it. when i feel tired, i'd go to my bed and lie down.. look at the MMS and the note.. and read through it over and over again. then i'll put my phone down.. think of whatever comes to mind.. and when i get tired of all that thinking, i'll pick up my phone again and look at his pic again - as though i'm trying to absorb the details of his face without the frame of his hair. then i'll put my phone down once more and the entire cycle continues till i decide to do something else (such decisions seem to be made rather quickly though! like within minutes!).

one of the things i thought about was that after he comes out from NS, i'll probably be working or something. he'll probably be in uni.. and i know he'll be busy. we won't be seeing much of each other i guess. and this is what i call the starting point. i won't be able to see him during the next 3 months unless its the weekend. and after which, perhaps it'll be after office hours only. this is probably what goes on as couples enter adulthood. (unless they have a huge age gap or they only got to know each other when the both of them have already started working)

is this what they call being "love-sick"? because if it is, i don't think i realise it. and if it is, is this my first experience of it? if it isn't, i can't remember when was the last time. but i doubt it was ever like this (or i would've remembered). the dreadful part is that i can't see him till 11 days later. perhaps its cos we spent so much time together over the past 2.5 weeks (doing the things that i mentioned in one of my previous posts - EATING AND EATING, watching bleach, taking part in DarkAges' Events within the online game itself), meeting up almost every other weekday that i had long forgotten the feeling of being "alone". plus, unlike my brother, i am not the independent sort of person and i have not learnt to be totally independent.

on his first night at the army, i slept at 3am++. woke up at 7am++. barely managed 4 hours of sleep. my guess is that i couldn't get to sleep because i napped for too long (can't rmb what time i started napping in the afternoon but i only woke up at 5pm!) the 2nd night was better. 2am ++ till 8am? i am showing good improvement as compared to the previous night. but is that because i went shopping and tired myself out with all that walking? anyway, considering my napping habits, i am convinced that i have sufficient sleep. the 3rd night (which was last night), i am grateful to jane for reminding me to sleep early. i can't remember what time i went to bed, but it was probably at around 12mn++. i slept till it was almost 8am and lay there till it was almost 9am. LOL.

however, i teared before i slept (on the first and second night) because i couldn't stop counting down the days and i know that he is doing a countdown too.

but last night.. i didn't *rejoice*.

i feel kinda scared whenever i tell myself that this thursday is coming soon, and just when i'm about to feel a wee bit happier, i remember there's still another week to tahan. without seeing him!

anyway, i wanted to sleep late every night, hoping that i'll wake up late the next morning so that the time for me to go to bed again the next day would come sooner. but this is not working - i am an early waker, regardless of how late or early i go to bed the night before (especially when i'm unstressed!), and my usual habits die hard - i'll wake up early (as if i'm going to work or something! LOL) and nap in the afternoon if i'm not shopping or anything. apparently, the only occasions where i want to slack in bed and sleep for a longer period of time is when i have school. LOL.

the last time i ever teared over missing someone was when mommy used to travel overseas for work. and that was worse - i lost my appetite and ate lesser than usual.

right now, approximately 10 years have passed since then.. and there's no way in which i can refuse good food. i still cannot resist food like Pastamania, my favourite ClayPot Rice and kway chap (and things along those lines) that are served right before my very eyes! and so i am more or less convinced - that i CAN FORGET ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT while he's in NS.

i thought i'd happily lose my appetite naturally while he's in NS. haha. sad to say, its not working at the moment. i am still eating and eating - like my usual self. i think my stomach has learnt to be unaffected by external situations. LOL.

sigh. i never even teared when either one of us went away on holidays with our families!!!

hmm. the consolation for me is that i'm not the only one who'd tear and all. Jiahui shared with me her experience of crying because her bf was going on a 5-day holiday, and that made me feel better. (LOL its like building my sense of normality based on her illustration of her deepest sorrows).

my other friends tell me "its just these two weeks lah".. i guess its true :) perhaps by the time the 7th 8th 9th day comes, i'll be back to normal - well before day 14th!

for once, i actually feel like i want to learn how to cook so that i can prepare a simple dish or something for him (maybe cos i've never cooked for anyone before, not even him? but he's spent time in e kitchen for me before >.<)~~ something homecooked - just what he wanted (i can't remember when he said that but i bet it wasn't that recent). i just want to do something for him for once. there doesn't need to be any special occasion or whatsoever. special occassions should never be the only time for us to appreciate someone's love for us. any and every other day can be the time for us to do so. i'm sure being in the army and going through tough physical training is like so ARGHH. problem is, i'm really scared of fire. during one of the Food & Nutrition lessons in secondary school, i tried frying stuff and i felt very awkward.. i even thought that the position of my arms were awkward. i felt stiff. i felt scared of the heat from the fire. ARGH. i guess i just let my fear of the heat from the fire get to my head. LOL. which is kinda weird cos i'm not even THAT scared of the heat from the sun that we see everyday. X_X!

so i shared this with Shereen, and i told her i actually like to bake. she suggested brownies and other stuff like cakes and all. i've never tried baking brownies before.. and that was a good idea she suggested actually, because that made me remember he loves chocolate. though baking is not close to the homecooked meal with dishes that i was dreaming of, unless i whip up something like baked fish or baked rice (LOL).

i don't think i would ever get down to doing anything about this :X its wayyy to dangerous. yes - the kitchen is a dangerous place. :X! i guess i have to wait till i intensify my feelings of wanting to cook before i actually go down to get the ingredients, prepare them and START the cooking. haha!

but i should appreciate the fact that i gave some (SOME only) thought to cooking. :X i'm the sorta person who just sits there and waits for food to be served to me :X never the other way around. hehe! X_X i'm too pampered and spoilt :( too lazy too lah :(

hmm. and i actually had so much to tell him about the wedding dinner i attended last night. it was my mom's ex-colleague's son's wedding. LOL. i could only SMS him the details because i felt kinda paisae to talk on the phone while i was seated at the table - full of chatty adults who work in the banking industry.

i think i shall share it with everyone. LOL. i think the groom is a super buay paisae kind of guy. because he just dared to do anything and everything and he really enjoyed himself (i guess?). my mom said he's been like this since he was young: NOT shy. they showed us a video of him doing the "breaking down the door" thing in the morning at the bride's place. (i called it breaking down the door cos sometimes people look kinda desperate to get in!). i couldn't see how much exactly was in the angpow for the bridesmaids were but one of 'em fanned it out so it looked like quite a bit. hehe. ah anyway, the girls made the groom wax his legs! BOTH. they used scotch tape. my heart went out to the groom, even though i was laughing my head off (somewhat daintily i hope. HAHA!). they really made sure the tape was stuck on well, and it looked as though the tape was glued to his skin! just imagine the PAIN. x_X.

then when he finally managed to get in, he sang a song for her when he was standing outside her room (with the door closed). it was so sweet. it was a beegees song that's titled First of May.. and he sang it loudly.. so i felt he was singing it with all his heart! *squeals* and when he opened the door.. the bride was seated on a chair (as usual) and he lifted her veil and kissed her! (i think i felt like crying already.. if i knew a guy for 8 years before we got married - i wondered if it'd feel like a lifetime of waiting?). and guess what. there were kids who were staring at the whole thing.. and when they kissed.. they just went "eeeeeeee! eeeeeeee!" eeeeeeee!". that made me laugh even more. haha. they sounded like it was truly disgusting sight or something, even though it was a short and sweet? LOL.

anyway, here's a small excerpt from the song First of May:
When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall,
we used to love while others used to play.
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
some one else moved in from far away.

Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
and you don't ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
but guess we'll cry come first of May.

The apple tree that grew for you and me,
I watched the apples falling one by one.
And I recall the moment of them all,
the day I kissed your cheek and you were mine.

hmm. and the groom's mates also saboed him when they were on stage. they made him do an inpromptu Indian dance and the guy was so sporting.. he actually really danced (unrehearsed, so that's what made it funny) and he really really really looked like he was enjoying himself. i cannot imagine anyone else doing such a thing. :X as much as i think he's really sporting, i haven't exactly seen a groom who wouldn't give in to his friends' sabo-ideas. but STILL! every groom who does these crazy things is BRAVE! maybe sometimes everyone just loves and needs some spontaneity!!!!! XD!

anyway, the dinner was held at The Oriental.. and it was great. the food was 10 times better than what we were served at Graduation Night :X there were mini abalone served with mushrooms, crispy king prawns, cod fish dribbled with heavenly-tasting sauce and many more! i told my mom i'll be putting that place in mind. haha.

its not only cos of the really good food, but its also because of the nice MCs. (they sounded like they were engaged/provided by the hotel. LOL). at least they weren't the ones who made the bride and groom do silly things (well in fact the bride didn't need to do any silly things at all! and the groom was sabo-ed by his best FRIENDS). i'm so afraid of those wedding dinners where they plan those embarrassing things for the couple to do. X_X. i once heard from a friend that there's one where they made the groom pick out a grape that fell into the bride's dress (at the boobie area). *faints*. i can't believe they paid for the dinners of hundreds of people just to be embarrassed in front of them all. :X!

mommy also said make-up does wonders.. cos the bride looked kinda different from the video :X.. i never put make-up when i go out.. so i don't know. haha. and when i did it for a performance a long time ago, i don't think i looked any prettier. X_X.

and i was EXTREMELY GLAD that i was not underdressed. :D lots of people turned up in the daniel yam kinda knee-length of 3/4-length dresses.. so i was not the only exception. LOL. except that my dress was not from daniel yam.

:X.
bee at 12:14 PM