Thursday, May 12, 2005

de-acne-tise me please!

i just do not understand why some vainpotty gals who have a perfect complexion INSIST that they don't. they don't suffer from the oily T-zone, pock marks, enlarged pores, dry or flaky or even acne-prone skin and yet they're complaining? i simply think this is getting out of hand. one could even suggest that i apply for an air-stewardess job after telling me that they (your interviewers, etc) stand so close to u to inspect ur face for enlarged pores. -.- another wants a better complexion when her face is picture-PERFECT without xiaxue's dirty ol' trick of adobe-photoshopping btw. any claims of having red, sensitive and pimply faces from these people is total bullshit! i am not buying a single cent of it :)

i can't believe some people could be so freaking insensitive to the fugly person with tons of acne, enlarged pores, scars and an oily face who's standing right in front of them. are they blind or am i invisible? that just goes to prove that we live in a bitchified world today.

another thing, these ppl with good complexion CAN use make up frequently to beautify their pretty, flawless, toufu skin with no problems at all.. unlike me - i am TOO afraid to even use it becos make up artists tend to overload on the make up and powder just to cover my scars, pock marks and purplish-red blemishes. besides, i might just break out in pimples anytime, considering what exfoliation did to me (INDEED - A MAJOR BREAKOUT!)

well, at least i'm thankful for having friends who understand the troubles of having an imperfect complexion. there's also another kind of ppl who had acne before but their scars have toned down and it doesn't affect their complexion/looks anymore. how i wish that day would come 4 me.

i think my readers have 3 kinds of feelings now:
1. join the club! acne-filled skin is common. *blah -.-*
2. oh. poor thing lah u. *pity 4 me*
3. stop rattling on and on and do something abt it! complaining all day long wouldn't help save ur face. *annoyed with me*

but, i shall persist with what i want to say! as much as those p33ps who insist that their complexion sux when it rocks.

darn my xxx complexion makes me feel inferior to those with flawless skin SOMETIMES. maybe its not inferiority, but its more of ENVY, kinda like "ooh i want that skin!". makes me wonder though - "what's the point of getting nice clothes when ur face sucks?". true, looks are not everything, but sometimes its hard to get anywhere without looks. i don't need to be drop-dead gorgeous but i just want those pimples to stop popping up so that the scars could slowly fade away in peace. its seriously frustrating.

personally, my complexion has been TERRIBLE ever since i entered sec 1. some blame it on the food that i eat, others blame it on indigestion. what the doctor says however, is that whatever i eat doesn't matter, because the acne condition that i have is inherited. so he put me on 6 months of medication, which only works after 2 months. between 0-2 months, i felt like by the time the medication started to take effect, my face would've burst. well, i just had to try his 3-pills-a-day thingy cos OXY didn't work on me.

hoho, true enough, everything cleared off.. but now? after a year - everything came back. the right side of my face is SCARRED with a patch of 5-6 pimples, or maybe even more! not to mention that my chin is scarred beyond hope. but i am never going back to the 3-pills-a-day method. it will KILL me cos i hate swallowing pills. Yes, i have a huge problem with pills as u would've noticed by now.

best of all, i read "where health begins" just yesterday and according to the article, women may experience acne all through adulthood! oh God save me!

i should count my blessings instead of raving on and on about my imperfection, but it can't be helped, can it? i get reminded of everything (stated above) once i look at the mirror in the morning. the Clean & Clear zapping 15ml tube thingy doesn't work on me either, even if it does, it takes at least a week and still leaves a scar/red-purplish blemish (its the same to me, there's still a mark). i just can't bring myself to the "I am SO beautiful (on the outside)" stage although i understand that nobody's perfect. its just that the complexion issue means something (not sure if its a lot) to me, although i mentioned before that it is NOT everything.

anyway, i'll be off to thailand (bangkok) on thurs and i'll be back on Sunday :) hopefully with more stuff to share. and regards, love - bee.
bee at 8:48 AM